Adopting More Than One

What to Expect When Adopting Two Kids at Once

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I am looking to adopt a young boy from a national program, but he comes with an older brother. I am more than thrilled to adopt both of these deserving children, but is adopting two young kids at once a potential disaster?

Sincerely,

Adoption Option

Dear Adoption Option,

Adoption is a lot harder than it looks -- especially lately when the media has glamorized international adoptions by celebrities and stars who have lots of resources. They make it look fun and easy. The reality is raising any child is hard work. Figuring out what a child's different cries mean, if the child is sick, hungry or tired -- or just cranky, and if your child is crying because they're tired or not tired -- are just a few of the challenges that can keep parents up at night. Literally. Now, consider raising a child who's medical, social, emotional, and other histories you don't know. You truly have no idea, and you're really starting from scratch. This kind of challenge can leave you and your family with all kinds of surprises along the way.

Adopting one child is a wonderful way to build a family, but adopting two children at once, is twice the wonder and twice the work. Like you would if you were having a biological child, prepare yourself with as many resources as possible when adopting one child -- and even more, when adopting two children together. Gather as much support as you can for as long as you can. Don't look any gift horse in the mouth. A relative, a neighbor, a church member -- they're all great help when you haven't slept for three nights in a row. Allow your friends and family to babysit, cook for you and run errands for you. Let them do your laundry. It takes a village to raise a child -- and it takes more than that to raise two.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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