Advice on When To Tip for Service

To Tip or Not To Tip - Three Motivations For Tipping

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I am so confused by the idea of tipping. Who are you supposed to tip and how much? I never tip my hairstylist because I figure she sets prices that include service. However, my friend just said she tips her hairstylist 20% every time she goes! I love my hairstylist and don't want her to think I don't appreciate her or love how she does my hair, but I didn't realize I was supposed to tip. Can you help me understand?

Sincerely,

Tell Me About Tipping

A:

Dear Tell Me About Tipping,

The trend in tipping is that more people are tipped than ever before. Why? Because there are more people in our lives. We're much more interactive than ever before.

We have tech support guys, hair stylists, hair colorists, nutritionists, accupuncturists, yoga teachers, kids' doctors, kids' piano teachers, kids' Little League coaches, and more.

Many people tip doormen, the people who wash our hair at the stylist, and the people who bring our online grocery orders into our house, each time they perform the service, or once a year at Christmas, in which the tip takes the form of a gift that is $100 or something like that.

Three motivations for tipping:

1. People tip to reward behavior. If you like the way your hair dresser or delivery boy treated you or the way he or she served you, giving a tip shows your gratitude. Many people feel that they like to reward behavior.

2. People tip to encourage a relationship. Some people will tip a gardener or a manicurist because they want to encourage good service with this particular person. These types of tippers will tip their favorite people more and their less favorite people less. The amount they tip is the amount they feel is necessary to encourage a relationship with that person.

3. Fear based tippers. Many tippers tip because they're afraid that if they don't, the waiter will spit in their soup or that their date will think they're cheap or that the impression they're leaving will be less than they want it to be.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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