Baby Keeps Crying!

Advice For New Parents to Learn Why Their Babies Are Crying and How To Stop The Tears

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

My husband and I just had a baby and I have never been more happy in my life! The only problem is that I've also never been more tired. Our beautiful new daughter just won't stop crying! All I want is a decent night of sleep (or a couple hours at least) but hubby and I are up and down all night trying to calm her down. In addition to this, I feel like a horrible mother! Why is my baby so unhappy all the time? Is there anything I can do to cheer her up and stop her crying before it starts ... or at least after a couple minutes? Please help!

Sincerely,

Stop My Baby's Tears

A:

Dear Stop My Baby's Tears, 

Congratulations on the new addition to your family! Of course this is one of the happiest times of your life, but it's also one of the most difficult. Just when you thank the stars that your newborn is healthy — your baby launches into colic. It’s as if you got a little gift in a healthy baby and then this problem to remind you that God has a sense of humor. Some laugh, right?

A baby’s crying can be one of the biggest sources of stress in the family. It can cause new (sleep deprived) parents to fight, be anxious, and get even less sleep than they already have. They will resort to measures they never dreamed that they’d resort to just to get the baby to stop crying, and the poor baby isn’t very comfortable either.

Here are some tips to keeping your baby happy (and your relationship with your husband happy even though your baby is fussy — or car-alarm decibel loud.)

* Babies cry. Accept it. If you have a crier — either a baby with colic, or a baby who is expressive (yes, finger painting is not the only way to get a point across when you’re that small) — you have a child who is trying to communicate something to you. This does not mean that there is something wrong with your baby — although that is the first thing you need to check — is your baby crying because it’s sick? — your baby may be trying to tell you it wants to be fed, picked up, rocked, held or just turned over.

* Learn the different cries your baby has. There will inevitably a different sound, duration, tone, etc. to the cry for hunger than the cry for pain.

*Look for other clues. A crying baby who is also drooling is probably teething. A crying baby with a runny nose and a warm forehead may be sick. A crying baby with outstretched arms may want to be picked up. Is the pacifier on the floor? Maybe your crying baby just dropped it’s pacifier and can’t pick it up.

*Try the myriad of colic cures that doctor endorsed and old wives tell tales of. From gripe water to taking the baby for a ride in the car seat in the car, to turning on a hair dryer (white noise), to letting the baby fall asleep to music, etc. You have to be methodical. It isn’t easy.

As tired as you are, you and your husband need to get out alone, and away from the crying, once in a while. So call good old Grandma or your trusted babysitter and go on a date. You can find some fantastic ideas in my book, Romantic Date Ideas.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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