Baby Ready

How To Tell If You And Your Spouse Are Ready To Have A Baby

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

My husband and I are considering having a baby, but there's so much to think about. We both really want to do this, but we're not sure that we're totally ready. What are the factors we need to consider? And are there any ways to tell for sure that we're ready to have a baby?

Sincerely,

Baby Ready

Dear Baby Ready,

Planning for a baby is a very exciting time in your lives, but you need to make sure the time is right...or at least right enough. How do you do this?

How do couples decide when they are ready to start a family?

Rarely do both people decide to have a baby at the same time. Usually one person is ready -- or more ready -- than the other. But that's okay. As long as one person is ready and the other is ready enough, things will be okay.

What makes them feel ready?

Age. The biological clock is real -- and it's not just for women only. Men also feel at a certain time in their lives that they're ready to have a family of their own.

History. If your family has a history of having children at a certain age -- whether it's early twenties or early forties -- you'll be influenced by that environment.

Expectations. If your family and friends are pressuring you, you may succumb to peer and family pressure. Or you may decide that they're right and this is the right time.

Financial, emotional, and career considerations. Responsible adults understand that having a child is expensive, and having a child without a job is ridiculous. Men and women also have emotional feelings about having a child. They either love kids or they don't. They either love the idea of having a family or they don't. Anyone who feels like his bachelor years are never going to be improved upon by marriage and family will be loath to give up being a single without kids.

Are there any benefits to waiting or starting a family early?

There are always two sides to every coin. Some people are better off having kids early in life because they have a lot more energy and they don't face fertility challenges. On the other hand, people who wait longer have more education and maturity, sometimes, than they would if they were younger parents. Often older parents have more financial security as well.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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