Bad Bad Habits

5 Tips to Help You Break Bad Habits

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I really want to start losing some weight but I have really bad eating habits that I can't seem to break. One of my friends suggested going on diet pills or some sort of eating suppressant, but I really want to kick my habits without using drugs or chemicals. Do you have any advice for breaking bad habits?

Sincerely,

Breaking the Bad

Dear Breaking the Bad,

Behavior modification is the way to change behavior without using drugs and chemicals. It's a simple way to change behavior by understanding what makes people do things, and what they like as a reward, and what they dislike as a punishment. It's used when training children -- and animals. It works on adults, too.

If you want to eat healthy, but are having trouble giving in to your urges, reward yourself for eating well, and punish yourself for eating badly. The brain wants to feel good, and it will help you adjust your behavior to feel good and not feel badly.

However, it's a LOT harder to be your own subject of behavior modification and your own modifier. That's why this dynamic works best with two people -- a parent and a child or a master and a pet or a teacher and a classroom student. Trying to do things yourself, are a lot harder. That's why the teenage years are so difficult in terms of seeing bad behavior. Parents are not always around as much to help modify behavior of their children because the teens want to break away and individuate.

Many adults who can't do it themselves join groups like Weight Watchers or gyms where they have personal trainers or classes. This puts them back in a similar situation to what they had as children when they wanted to learn something other than what their body tends to do.

Tips to break bad habits:

1. Recognize the behavior you want to have. This is different from just deciding what you want to change. Decide what you want the new you to look like. This step gives you a perspective on the job ahead. It's important.

2. Recognize the habits you want to break.

3. Analyze why you want to stop doing the things you want to stop doing. Is it for a health reason? Is it embarrassing to you, socially? Are you being pressured by friends and/or family members? Knowing why you want to change your behavior will help you tweak the way you break a habit.

4. Take small steps. Don't expect yourself to quit smoking in a weekend or to stop any other kind of behavior overnight. Give yourself six months to see a change. I know it seems like a lot, but if you want to be successful, you'll set up a model for success -- not failure.

5. Reward yourself for habits broken! Give yourself a pat on the back, an extra shopping trip, a night out with the guys or gals, whatever you do to reward yourself when you do well, make it a habit.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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