Body Language Tips

What's Your Date's Body Saying? 4 Tips That Reveal Interest and Attraction When it Comes to Dating

Q: Dear April,

I've always heard that I should watch out for body language to tell if someone is interested or not. What signs would I see if she was - and what if she wasn't?  And is this something that I should think about, too? Are girls watching my body language? Do you have any advice or tips for showing a girl I'm interested?

Sincerely,

Body (Language) Builder

A:

Dear Body (Language) Builder,

Before you utter a word, your body is saying a lot on your behalf. Depressed or anxious, amorous or excited - it’s all out there for others to see - whether you know it or not. This is why I think it’s so important to actually understand - and be able to control - what it is your body is saying to your date (and what your date’s body is telling you) through a mere gesture, or tilt of the head. 

In fact, as I discuss in Date Out Of Your League, the nonverbal messages a m the nonverbal messages a woman send are 5 times more powerful than what she says to you. 

• Communication is 60% nonverbal and 40% verbal.
  
• And when it comes to the 40% verbal, only 10% of communication comes from the actual words, themselves—the other 30% comes from how we say the words.
  

To this end, let’s take a look at a few basic body parts, and whether you’re projecting on the outside what you feel on the inside.

Attraction Advice #1: Show Your Interest:

• Face Forward - Your head should be facing the person to whom you are speaking with, and be tilted and/or nodding to let them know you are interested. Don’t get carried away, though. A slight nod will suffice!
  
• Eye Contact - Direct and continual eye contact is key. But there is a difference between that and staring your date down. Know the difference, and do the former.
  
• Body - As with the face, your entire upper body should be pointing toward the person you’re speaking with. Leaning in just a bit with your torso in is an effective way to let them know you are interested, engaged, and flirtatious.
  
• Legs - Our legs, and even feet, tell part of our story. If standing, legs should be helping you lean ever-so-slightly forward, feet in an open position. While sitting, it’s best to keep both feet flat on the floor beneath you, or crossed low, at the ankles. Even though it’s a common way to sit, an ankle resting on the knee can seem as though you’re fidgety or eager to leave, so unless you’re ready to run, keep ’em planted.

Attraction Advice #2: Guage Their Interest:

• Caressing - When your date touches themselves, or an object (such as a glass), it can mean they want to touch you, or that he or she wants you to touch them. But tread carefully. There’s always the possibility that it’s just an itch!
  
• The Touch - Attention! Attention! No matter where, when, or how - even if it seems accidental - if your date touches you, you’re being sent an undeniable signal that they’re interested.

Still not sure whether your date is digging you? Conduct this quick test to find out.

Attraction Advice #3: The Lean In:

Casually lean in towards the person your interested in... if they stay where they are, or (even better) lean in towards you, that's a good indicator that they are interested.  If, on the other hand, they pull back or lean the other way-- the opposite is true.

Attraction Advice #4: The Eyes Have It:

Are their eyes directed straight into yours, or roaming the room? If it’s the former, you know you’ve got them. And if it’s the latter, it might be time to roam the room yourself.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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