Bored Kids!

Advice on Kids and Boredom

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

Oftentimes, if I don't let my kids have friends over or I don't take them out somewhere fun, they complain that they are bored. I don't want my kids to be bored but I also don't have all the time in the world to entertain them. Do you have any suggestions for what I can to make sure they don't get bored?

Sincerely,

Anything But Bored Mother

A:

Dear Anything But Bored Mother,

Get a handle on boredom:

1. Children are supposed to get bored. It's part of their development. What they do when they get bored is their growth. Don't take away the opportunity for them to figure out how to solve this problem themselves. If you do, you're denying your child a developmental milestone.

2. In this ADD age, boredom is often seen as a bad thing or a problem to be cured. This curing of boredom often leads to ADD enabling behavior. While some children actually have ADD, there is way too much subjective diagnosis and medication of children without examining the parents' role in the situation. Don't honor your child's boredom just because you're uncomfortable with your child's discomfort. If you're constantly trying to cure their boredom, you're sending the message that boredom is a problem that needs to be cured.

On the other hand, if you'd like to spend some time with your family this summer, I have some great budget, family ideas for fun.

It's not only easy to have fun on a budget -- it's a good way to emphasize values that teach your children that money isn't everything: being a family unit and pulling together is important and fun because of who you are -- not what you spend.

Here are some great budget ideas for family fun:

*Bowling. All ages -- including grandma and grandpa -- can have a lot of fun with a night of bowling. If there are young children or novice bowlers, ask the bowling lane manager to put "bumpers" on your lane to keep the ball from hitting the gutter, and giving everyone a leg up.

*Hiking. All weather, all terrain, all family members! Take a monthly hike in a beautiful park. Culminate with a picnic. Don't make the hiking too rigorous so that it excludes family members who aren't as fit as others. This activity is cheap, healthful, and it facilitates talking to each other.

*Swap houses. Swap houses with another family for a weekend or a week. You can end up with a novelty time or even a really great vacation, depending on who you swap with. What would normally cost several hundred to several thousand dollars in hotel fees is free. Consider swapping cars, too, if your swapping partners are family or good friends.

*Pot luck house party. Chances are you don't know ALL of your neighbors, so have your entire family host a pot luck dinner at your house, and assign jobs to everyone in the family. Bonding together to make the party work, and then, literally, partying together, can be great fun.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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