Business Etiquette - How to Fire A Friend

Termination Gets Sticky When Someone's More than an Employee

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I'm a single mom who owns a small consulting business -- I have about five employees. I recently hired a woman I thought I new fairly well. She is another mom from my son's preschool and is doing administrative work part-time.

The problem is, I think that I need to let her go. She is not, frankly, any good at answering phones (she lacks a professional demeanor) and is often leaving early to pick up her kids from school. While I can empathize with her situation, I can't afford to carry her.

I feel awkward about the situation, since we often see one another socially. How do I fire her -- or anyone, for that matter -- with as much kindness as possible?

Sincerely,

Reluctant Boss

Dear Reluctant Boss,

What to do if You Hire A Friend and It Isn’t Working Out:

1. Keep communication clear. It is not always possible to keep communication open because as your friend’s employer, there may be things you know and have to handle at work that you cannot tell your employees — including your friend. Make this dynamic clear.

2. Take a break from social situations where your friend will be. Don’t pretend that you want to talk about work every time you see your friend. Tell him or her that you would like to just enjoy the social situation that you are both attending, and not talk work. If this doesn’t work out, take a night off from a social situation — or go elsewhere where your friend will not be.

3. Stay neutral as much as possible. Nepotism doesn’t just happen with family members. Friends count, too. Keep your perspective.

Below are some dos and don’ts for firing that will help ease your experience of letting your friend (or anyone) go:

* Do be frank, direct and honest about firings. If the firing is about company cut backs, let the employee who is being fired know that this has nothing to do with them personally, or their job performance. If it is about their job performance, let them know that their performance was not up to standards for this particular company.

* Do not demoralize a person beyond what you are firing them for. Do not tell them they’ll never work in this industry again. Do not tell them they’re stupid or bad at what the do. Keep it clear — that the job they did in this instance did not meet the standards of the company.

* Do give employees two weeks notice. Unless they’ve committed a crime, you need to allow them two weeks to absorb the shock and transition out of their job. It’s called closure and respect.

* Do not expect normal work from them during the two weeks before they leave. They will do their best — if they can — and if they can’t, they won’t. Don’t heap new projects or work or extra hours on them. In fact, if you can, lighten their load during this time.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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