Career Advice - Adult Student

Returning to College as an Adult

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini
Dating Tips and Advice

I'm 35 and never got a college degree. I'm ready to move forward in my career and think that I'll need a college degree to get it. I am planning to go back full-time for a while and then part-time after a year or two, but I'm concerned that I won't be able to keep up with people 15 years my junior and that I am too far out to learn.

How do I succeed? CAN I succeed?

Sincerely,

Co-Ed

Dear Co-Ed,

Students who return to school after a hiatus are often more clear about their purpose because of the overall time frame involved, and the sacrifices they've made in order to get back to school. Many times students who go from high school to college don't have the maturity or the life experience to appreciate the opportunity. This isn't always true, but often, it is. Many high school students expect to go to college after high school. When a student is not able to go to college after high school, that opportunity becomes rare and valuable, so that when they do go to college, the experience is one that they're more conscious of.

Staying focused and clear on what you want from life -- whether it's school, dating or just the passing of a day's time -- is crucial to success. Life is not a dress rehearsal is not just a passed around saying. This is it. And each day is an opportunity gained or lost.

Anyone who gets distracted or looks for distraction is sabotaging themselves, when it comes to buckling down and getting the most out of a college experience and education.

Tips For Non-Traditional Students

1. Remember who you are. You are someone who is going to school after a hiatus because you had financial, family or career challenges. Don't let those challenges impede your success this time around. Don't hold yourself up to the same standards as traditional college students. You are a non-traditional student, and if you forget it, you may lose your way. Carve out your college career based on who you are and what you want to accomplish and the needs that bridge the gap from who you are to what you want.

2. Prioritize. Chances are you will have obstacles like a spouse, children, bills, family or other things that other traditional students don't have. This means that if you are going to be successful, you have to prioritize your college education -- or it will get lost in the rest of your life. Make education a priority over your social life or over getting the dishes done.

3. College may seem like an amusement park with lots of rides after the pressures of other types of life. Don't go crazy drinking, partying, dating or doing other college life things that will distract from your education. Stay focused on why you're there. You can't have everything all the time -- you should know that better than anyone else. Accept it and move on. You're not there for the frat parties. Not this time.

The secret to any success is:

1. balance

2. expectations

Balance is important because as you go through life, you add on and take off different factors like a boyfriend or girlfriend, a spouse, a part-time job, a full-time job, a child, an illness, a raise, being fired -- the list goes on and on. When adding work to study or study to work, you need to find a balance between the two -- and the rest of your life like staying healthy (eating, sleeping, exercising), socializing, etc.

Expectations (and compatible expectations when you are in a relationship) are as important as balance. Sometimes, it's impossible to know what your expectations will be or how they will change -- no matter how much counseling, talking, and preparing for your marriage you do before hand. People aren't machines and they change their minds about things. They also realize things they didn't, later rather than sooner. This makes plans and expectations variable. If you expect to be able to balance an 80-hour work week and an accelerated one-year graduate school program you may have unrealistic expectations that will lead to your failure.

As you become more mature, you'll be better able to know what you are able to balance and what reasonable expectations are. This is a process.

Here are some tips to make the balance of work and study more graceful:

* You have to eat and eat well to work well and learn well. Change your eating habits to incorporate healthier and easier food. If you can afford take out every day and night, switch to a healthier restaurant. If you need to cook your own food, switch to frozen, microwavable foods, and pre-washed, pre-packaged foods to make life easier. Nobody grades you for having home cooked your meals.

*Visit a warehouse store and stock up so you're never out of healthy food like bottled waters, juices, cans of soup and frozen vegetables and pizzas.

* Make sleep a priority. Allow yourself a nap if you can. You'll be surprised at how much energy you get as a result.

* Don't forget to see friends and family. This is an important part of keeping yourself healthy. Even if it's a 30-minute coffee break at the local diner with a friend three times a week, you'll feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

Some specific tips for non-traditional students

1. Don't procrastinate! Enough said.

2. Stay organized. Keep a calendar and attend to it.

3. Be realistic about your responsibilities and your time. You can't do everything and you will have to limit yourself.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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