Career Advice - Helping Your Adult Children Job Hunt

My

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

My son graduated from college in May and has been mostly moping around the house and sending out his resume every now and then. I'm hoping he'll snap out of it and get his act together after the initial shock of "becoming an adult" wears off, but I'm not sure. I've thought about networking for him, passing his resume to a few business contacts, but I don't want to either spoil my reputation by nepotism or deprive my son of learning how to effectively job hunt. How much help is too much?

Sincerely,

Meddling Mom

A:

Dear Meddling Mom,

It's no wonder there are so many 12 Step programs available -- enablers abound! When parents feel responsible for finding their adult children a job or a career, the term enabler leaps to mind. 

It's one thing to give fatherly or motherly advice. It's another altogether to continue the helicopter parenting that disallows children the opportunity to live their own lives. At some point, the umbilical cord has to be cut so the child can have their own life. 

Here are the do's and don'ts for helping your adult child with their job or career:

* If you think your adult child is having trouble, DO ask if they are having trouble. DO NOT tell them that they look like they're having trouble. 

* DO listen. DO NOT give your opinion without being asked for it. 

* DO NOT bail your adult child out of trouble unless they're straying into something illegal or physically dangerous. DO allow them to get into and out of situations on their own. 

* DO help your adult child have and find a perspective on jobs, their careers and the rest of their lives. DO NOT impose your own values on them if they do not want them imposed. 

 

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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