Coping in a New City
By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini
Q: Dear April Masini,
My job is promoting me, but the problem is, they're also transferring me to a new city two states away. I know absolutely no one there and I am nervous and worried that I won't be able to find friends or have a social life. I'm also concerned that I won't be as respected in my new office as I am in my current one. I know people do this every day, but I have never had to do it before. How can I survive?
Sincerely,
On the Move
A:
Dear on the Move,
Job transfers or relocating for a new job can be traumatic depending on how big the change/s are, and how adept you are at making transitions.
Here are some pieces of advice and tips for making a job change when transferred:
1. Let go of expectations. Expectations are a sure way to trigger disappointment and feelings of failure. If you can let go of expectations when being transferred to a new job, and approach the new situation as a completely new arena, rather than one with a lot of "shoulds" attached (I should do this; he should do that; this should go there, etc.), you'll have an easier time transitioning.
2. Communicate with your boss and co-workers. Most problems in a new job occur because of miscommunications. If you keep the channels open, especially with new co-workers and supervisors -- especially at first -- you have a better chance to get to know each other and not have as many misunderstandings as you may otherwise.
3. Find your old haunts in your new job/town. If you used to love running every morning before work, in your old job, find a place to go running at your new job. If you loved sitting in the park during your lunch break during your old job, find a similar respite at your new job. If you loved a weekly poker night with the guys at work at your old job, look for a similar game with the guys at work at your new job.
4. Allow yourself to stumble. Understand that you're not going to be the go-to guy at this new job, immediately, the way you were at your old job -- or whatever it was you were at the old job. In fact, you may screw up here and there because you're not as familiar here as you were there. Ease up and let yourself have those stumbles. Laugh at yourself, and the situation, and get back up on the horse again.
April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas,
and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.
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