Career Advice - Office Gossip

Taking a Gander at Office Gossip

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I have become the go-to woman in the office for workplace gossip. It's not that I like talking about people behind their backs, it's truly that I just like to chat with the people around me. Yet often it reverts to a fellow employee's personal life, or sometimes even personal things in my life, like problems with my boyfriend. Is it bad that I just can't resist to gossip in the office?

Sincerely,

Blabber Mouth 

A:

Dear Blabber Mouth,

Sharing information can be a therapeutic outlet that helps a spouse vent his or her feelings somewhere other than on the person they're angry at or confused about, or that helps an employee vent his or her feelings somewhere other than on the employee or boss they're angry at or confused about. It also allows the spouse some feedback from a trusted friend at work about the situation that is being shared. In addition, some people process information by "talking it out," and only when doing this, can they see things about their own behavior or situations that they wouldn't if they hadn't talked it through.

The problems come when two people in a relationship have different expectations about what should be shared, and with whom. This relationship can be personal or business. Or a mixture of both. A good way to alleviate this problem is to discuss with your spouse any "off-limit" subjects. And if the gossip is about work, it's great if there is office policy about what is appropriate and what is not appropriate to discuss and with whom and on what channels (e-mail, face to face, telephone, etc.) Whether or not you agree with the policy is a second issue, but knowing expectations, is key to good communication and productivity.

The Impact of Gossip

Gossip can spread like wildfire -- especially with technology offering the speed for information that it does today. The problem with this speed is that sometimes the gossip can get misconstrued along the way, so it spreads quickly -- and with misinformation!

Gossip can be helpful because it is information and if the information is correct and useful to someone, they can use it as a tool. The problem comes when it's incorrect. 

Gossip that spreads so far and wide that it gets to the boss or back to the person who started it can become a problem if it's not quashed. The boss or the person who started it has a responsibility to set the record straight.

But more often than not, gossip is usually a cry for help in processing information and/or fears. People talk about things because they need to work something out and because the information that is the gossip triggers emotions.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

© 2004-2009 AskApril.com, LLC. All rights reserved. AskApril®, AskApril.com®, and Ask April® are registered trademarks owned by Masini Enterprises, Inc. This material can only be republished and redistributed if it is kept in it's original form, including, but not limited to, all AskApril branding, banners, links, books, and credits.