Career Advice -Quit Jobs Carefully

Tips On How To Quit Your Job Without Burning Bridges

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I just got a really exciting job offer and while I'm very much looking forward to this next phase of my life, I'm a little nervous about telling my current boss I'm quitting. We have a pretty good relationship and I know he's going to be really upset that I got a new job. Do you have any advice for how I can quit my job without making people mad?

Sincerely,

Out With The Old

A:

Dear Out With The Old,

I'll answer a few of the most important questions about what you should do when you're trying to quit a job.

Does it vary depending on your level within an organization?

Yes. If you work for a small business owner with an office of five employees quitting should be handled differently than it would in a corporation with a thousand employees. If you're quitting a small business, you have to be aware that gossip travels very fast and you should keep your quitting clean. You should want to quit just as carefully as you applied for the job. How you quit will be remembered more than how you applied for the job or even how well you did your job. First impressions are the most important impression in any dynamic, but last impressions are equally important.

Be careful about your chain of command. Quit with your immediate boss first. Then immediately thereafter, check in with your other superiors, and then with your staff and lastly with your co-workers. That's the chain of command for the easiest exit in small businesses. In large corporations, quit in writing at the same time you quit in person. Hand in a written letter of resignation at the time you report to your immediate superior to quit in person. If you are at a small business and want to leave a professional opinion, you can also hand in a written letter of resignation at the time you quit.

How do you quit so you don't burn bridges, even if you're angry and unhappy?

Remember that your job is not your home, and your co-workers, employers, and staff are not your family. You should always maintain the most professional demeanor possible. It's very human to let your guard down and talk about your co-workers relationships, family, and personal lives when you spend long hours and/or years working for/with them, but that is not the glue of your relationship. And it shouldn't be in a healthy work dynamic. Your relationship should be primarily professional, so keep your anger, unhappiness, and other feelings out of the ending of a business relationship. If you have a lot of feelings work them through with your spouse, partner, family, friends or some other professional who is employed to help you process your feelings.

Should you apologize?

Absolutely never apologize. All you need to do is be responsible. The nature of life is transitory. And within life's dynamics are relationships between people. Your relationship with your boss, co-workers and staff, like any other relationship in your life, may last for decades or the rest of your life, or it may last for another six months. To apologize means you have an ego the size of a Buick and you think you can control the relationship.

Just talk about the facts -- not your feelings, when quitting.

Should you do it in writing or in person? What should you include in a resignation letter?

The purpose of a resignation letter is to state that you are leaving and when you are leaving and how you are leaving. A letter to an employer is a document that states your termination -- self-termination when you're quitting.

Don't use a resignation letter to express feelings. The letter should be one page and only a paragraph or three. You may say that you've enjoyed ten years working for your company, and you will be moving on on whatever date you're quitting.

If you have had a long and fruitful relationship with your employer, speak your feelings on the day you leave when you come into his or her office to shake hands and say goodbye.

What about the relationships you have at the office -- how do you leave those?

A going away party outside of the office is entirely appropriate -- whether it's a luncheon, a dinner, drinks after work or a party at someone's house on a weekend. It's a great idea for career networking to keep in touch with your co-workers after you leave. You can also become friends or even date your co-workers after you are not longer working there, with a lot more ease than if you were still co-workers. Your relationship with your co-workers is changing, and it's fair and appropriate to acknowledge that. However, if you don't want to see any of them ever again, that's okay, too. In that case, a smile, a wave and a warm goodbye will suffice when you quit.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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