Career Advice - Workplace Stress

Feeling Stressed, Looking Relaxed

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

Like most people I know, I'm stressed at work. But the biggest stressor? The fact that I feel like I have to constantly appear like I'm NOT stressed, when clearly I am. It's just another thing on the list. I have to look perfect, act perfect, never let my voice crack under the pressure. It's driving me nuts! Am I the only one who feels this way?

Sincerely,

Stressed to Perfection 

A:

Dear Stressed to Perfection,

You're certainly not the only one! Look around you at any good-looking, well-dressed, other successful people--they're in your boat!

Keeping up appearances takes work! Not just physical work, but adrenalin, emotions and energy used to figure things out, strategize and do anything but relax. Appearing unruffled can take heroic efforts. Women have a tendency to keep up appearances more than men do because the bar is raised higher for most women than men thanks to the media. Women try to be like covergirls on magazines or stars of television shows doing it all because that's the standard that many of them hold themselves up to. It's a tremendous  amount of work.

Don't Despair! Stress is Important

Here's some information that might make you feel better about the stress you're under, and some tips for dealing.

Stress is important because it's a clue to how you're really feeling. The worst thing that people can do is ignore it. Stress can be a hint that someone's about to get sick or have a heart attack. Stress is a great indicator that a person has too much going on at one time, and a relationship or more than one relationship are going to suffer for that stress.

People who are able to weather lots of short bursts of stress will become used to the stress. This can be good if they're not on a stress spiral downhill -- in other words, if the stress is exponentially and continuously gathering momentum in their life. Dealing with stress is an indicator that you can weather stress. However, if more and more stress is heaped on, no person will survive and the damage that leads up to tragedy is regrettable and adjustable.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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