Children and Video Games

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Side of Video Games

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

My 12-year-old son is spending more and more time in his room everyday playing video games. Isn't it bad for a young boy to spend so much time cooped up indoors instead of being outdoors kicking a football around? My husband thinks it's nothing to worry about and insists video games are good for the mind and will help develop my son's character. Is this true or am I right to be worried? Is there any reason why he is only interested in virtual reality?

Sincerely,

Mommy of Video Game Addict

Dear Mommy of Video Game Addict,

Nothing is 100% good or 100% bad. Interactive, handheld games that kids play can make them anti-social. They can keep kids from doing other things that are more important — like homework and playing outside, actively. But one thing that these games do improve on is hand-eye coordination. In fact, this is recognized by the U.S. military that uses these types of games to improve the acuity of pilots, who’s vision means life or death — for them and us.

Professional baseball players also use these games to improve their eye sight. Seeing a curve ball as it is hurtling toward the batter can mean the difference between a game and a loss.

Children can reap these benefits of hand eye coordination from these games, as well.

But parents have to keep balance in the child’s life so that too much time isn’t spent on these games, or that the children develop anti-social tendencies as a result of too much gaming!

There are lots of reasons that people like to play games and step out of their reality. Some people step out of reality in a normal way. Some step out in a clinical way that is not normal. Some step out temporarily and have no problem getting back into real life, others, like the main character in the movie, The Science of Sleep, a Michael Gondry film, have trouble differentiating between reality and non-reality and getting back into reality.

This game playing starts very early when children have imaginary friends, or even play dress up, doctor or cowboys and Indians. They step outside of their reality to have some fun — because their real life is pretty sedate.

People who undergo trauma — physical, sexual, emotional — will take this idea of stepping out of reality to the extreme and create splinter personalities, as in multiple personality disorder, to deal with the trauma that they cannot deal with in their “real” life. This is different from schizophrenia, which is biological in origin.

Children learn that play time often means having a different world. This inter-personal and intra-personal dynamic does not disappear. In fact, many adults love to play games — sometimes they create drama in their real lives, and sometimes they play games like board games or virtual world games that allow them to step outside of their everyday life and play.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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