College Roommate Wonder

Tips for Getting Along With Your New College Roommate

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I'm starting college in the Fall and will be randomly hooked up with a roommate. I'm so nervous! What should I do when I receive word of who my roommate is? What if we don't get along once we move in? Can you give me any advice on how I can have the best relationship possible with my new roommate?

Sincerely,

Roomie Anticipation

Dear Roomie Anticipation,

There are so many different colleges today -- more than ever before -- and that means more people are attending colleges in more situations (single, divorced, single parents, married, second career change students, etc.) and the living options are myriad. Students live in traditional dorms, in fraternities and sororities, in off campus housing, with parents, and as exchange students.

This is the season when lots of people are shacking up – and I don’t mean in the romantic sense. It’s the start of the new school year, and college dorms are filling up. Some roommates will have known each other, and some won’t. Having a roommate is an inevitable rite of passage like first dates, first pedicures, and buying your first sofa. So let go of any cases of the nerves you’ve got jittering around and embrace this time in your life.

College Roommate Advice

1. Welcome them. If you’re starting college and have just been assigned a new roommate for September, write him or her a brief note – that doesn’t spill your guts, but offers a "written handshake" in advance by way of a note. Just say something like, "Just got my roommate assignment in the mail, and it’s you. Looking forward to a fun semester together. Call if you’d like, otherwise, I’ll see on the first day of school." This is not the time to pour out your life story in a single spaced four-page letter that includes photos of you and your ex-boyfriends, your family, and your cat. You also don’t want to go into all your food allergies or the horrible hacking cough that’s taken you forever to get over. The idea is to keep it light and stress-less.

2. Respect space. When you get there, and you realize that it’s not a mistake – your room assignment is NOT the school broom closet, but an average sized dorm room, keep what space you have separated. It’s better if you can co-exist rather than immediately start sharing everything from shoes to wall space. Keep your posters on your side of the room, and don’t hog the closet. Don’t blare music or start burning incense. Manners will get you a long way. If, down the line, you want to co-mingle your space, do so then, but start out respectful of space.

3. Expectations. Your roommate does not have to be your best friend to be a great roommate. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a roommate who respects your space, doesn’t snore, and keeps the room as clean as you do. It’s great to invite your roommate to eat meals with you, but try eating with your own friends or by yourself now and then. Independence is great and a good practice to set up for starters. If you do become best friends, great. But if not, you still have a great roommate.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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