Comedy or Confusion?

State of Comedy Today and Why Women are Having Difficulty Finding Their Place in the Field.

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I am a struggling female comedian who is finding it hard to know where to draw the line these days. It seems that there is so much material that is perfectly acceptable within some groups, but absolutely unacceptable for others. I can't make any sense out of all of the double standards -- can you help?

Sincerely,

Wanna Be Funny Girl 

A:

Dear Wanna Be Funny Girl:

The state of comedy today reflects the confusion in our culture today. While Isaiah Thomas gets in big time trouble for saying the “f” word, and Michael Richards gets in big time trouble for saying the “n” word, many successful comedians like Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock have gained status for using just those same words, over and over and over, in their comedy, and many Oscar nominated films use the exact same language without any of the backlash these two individuals, among others, have taken.

It’s okay for Henny Youngman to make “Take my wife … please!” a famous and well-loved comedy line, denigrating his wife, but if Donald Trump calls Rosie O’Donnell fat, he’s taken to task.

All this means that two things are true:

Comedy is about deprecation and unfortunate circumstances, and our society is teetering on a lack of understanding of what’s politically correct and what’s truthful.

Comedy is not a pretty business. In fact, comedy is based on tragedy, and tragedy is pain evolved. Comedy is based on making fun of people. Comedians who are successful are either self-deprecating, making them more likable, or else they are biting satirists making fun of those around them.

There is not a comedic play or movie or monologue out there that does not fall into one of those two categories — self-deprecating or biting satire. Self-deprecating humor is easier for many people to take because it’s easier for them to accept comedy where the comedian makes fun of themselves. The audiences don’t see the self-pain as clearly as they see comedy where other people are made fun of. People who like comedy that pokes fun at other people is more apparently mean-spirited because it’s a little easier to see for most people. The truth is that both types of comedy are cruel — one at the comedian’s own expense, and one at the expense of others.

As for WOMEN IN COMEDY …

• It’s a harder gig because women are generally more empathetic than men are, and not as angry. This makes them worse comedians and better actresses. The women in comedy who have held their titles over the years are few, but they are Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr, for example. Both of these women are fat, leading us to believe that America doesn’t want to hear jokes from svelte women — or maybe that svelte women don’t have any jokes they feel compelled to tell. 
   
• As culture becomes more mixed, comedy plays in more places. 
   
• Funny women writers, like Nora Ephron and Carrie Fischer, don’t feel the need or have the talent to do stand-up. Ms. Ephron and Ms. Fischer choose to be funny in the context of long form dramatic story telling writing novels, screenplays, and in Ms. Fischer’s case, acting (but she was never very funny as an actress). 
   
• Anger is definitely the fuel of comedy, and so far, men are winning that race. Sadly.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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