Dealing With Drugs

Tips For Talking to Your Teen About Drugs

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I have a 13-year-old son and want to talk to him about drugs. He's a really good kid, but I know anyone can get mixed up in bad stuff and I can definitely already see the potential in some of his friends. I don't want to offend or scare my son, but I really think I should have a discussion with him. Do you have any tips for how I can talk about drugs with my teen?

Sincerely,

Better Safe Than Sorry

Dear Better Safe Than Sorry,

It's really important to talk to your son about drugs, even if you don't think he would ever get involved in them. I hope my advice will help you bring the topic up.

Talk to your teen about drugs:

1. Educate yourself first and foremost. You can do this by reading your LOCAL paper, talking to other parents, attending school parent groups, and even talking to your local police station, many of which have "J Teams" or juvenile specialty teams. Find out the best and worst situations other parents and educators and law enforcement are having with teens in your area. Find out what kinds of drugs kids are doing and where.

2. Be honest with your teen. After you've gotten an earful of education, don't overwhelm your teen. Tell them that you are talking to them because you know that drugs are prevalent, and you are concerned for your child's safety. Make the first talk short and sweet. Don't lie. Your kid will not trust you if you lie. Besides it's bad for your own self esteem.

3. Ask questions. Don't lecture as much as get a dialog going so you have an open channel of communication.

4. Tell your teen what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. You have no idea how much teens and children crave boundaries. The unknown is much scarier than any punishment or boundary.

5. Make "the talk" part of an ongoing series of conversations that are short and sweet and to the point so that your teen can come to you and you can come to your teen in emergencies or non-emergencies, for open, honest communication.

Teens and drug testing:

Raising a teenager is very difficult because teens are in between childhood and adulthood. Legally, they are still minors, which means that parents are responsible for their teens, so while it's great to trust your teen, the reality is that if you don't, it's better to be responsible than to not be responsible. And when it comes to drugs, the price of being an irresponsible parent is huge. Your teen could die -- from an overdose or an accident while under the influence. The problems that come with drug abuse that doesn't cause death, are pretty thorny, and most parents will want to avoid them, so while it isn't pleasant to subject your teen to drug screening, it can make the difference between your teen's life and death.

Trust is great, but it's a luxury when drug abuse is involved.

If your child is an adult, you have no choice but to trust them. If your child is still a minor, drug testing may be your responsibility and the trust question becomes, do you trust yourself as a parent, to raise your teen in the face of drugs.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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