Elderly Parent Care

How You Can Give Your Elderly Parents The Best Care Possible

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

One of the most difficult things about growing up is watching your parents grow old and seeing how much they need your help. Expert April Masini has advice to adults who need to hire caregivers for their elderly parents. She also informs you of how you can be the best caregiver possible without getting burnt out.

My mom just turned 85 and is starting to really slow down and need care all the time. I live far away right now so I can't really be there to help her all the time. Do you have any ideas for waht i can do to give her my support? Also, I'm planning on moving closer to her and want to know how I can be the best caregiver possible without getting burnt out.

Sincerely,

Caring For Parents

Dear Caring For Parents,

Elderly parents need caregiving and they need more of it, in most cases, as they get older. If you live far away, you really can't be the caregiver. You can lend support, but there needs to be a system where someone is there day to day, if not now, then eventually, as parents are living longer than ever, more often than ever.

Many people wind up taking elderly parents into their own homes. Some are lucky enough to afford caregivers that come into the home. Others put their parents in retirement or nursing homes, depending on the stage of care the elderly parent needs.

When you have an elderly parent, obviously, there are things you can do to help support the system:

* Call every day or as often as you can.

* Send photos.

* Visit as often as possible. Long visits are not as important as frequent visits.

* If you have other relatives who are taking on the bulk of the on site caregiving, or even overseeing it, don't underestimate the burden of that job. Be supportive of the in-town relatives by donating financially, making regular calls to check in, sending gifts, and being appreciative and generous as often as you can.

If you are the in state caregiver:

Care is as good as the caregiver. Anyone who's ever been a caregiver knows this is true. Caregiver burnout is easy -- easier than most people realize.

Staying Inspired As a Caregiver:

Get out of your own head. If you're feeling sorry for yourself or if you're feeling stale in your work, get out of the house and out of your own caregiving situation. Look around -- whether you're at the mall or the park. Notice the rest of the world. Inspiration comes from many places, and if you're not getting it where you -- change where you are.

Taking Time For You, The Caregiver:

If you don't take time for yourself, you're going to burn out. Think about it. If you don't change the oil in your car, it will eventually break down. So you change the oil in your car. Don't treat your car better than you treat your self! If you can't take a weekend to go to a spa on a regular basis then at least do one nice thing for yourself each day. That can be getting a manicure one day and a pedicure another. Getting a hair cut or taking an exercise class. Take yourself to a movie. Meet a friend for lunch or dinner. Do one of these kinds of things for yourself daily.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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