Formally Fitting In

Understanding Formal Wear

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

My husband and I were just invited to a formal dinner party and we're excited for a night on the town. But we're very confused on how exactly we should dress for a formal dinner. We don't want to stick out like sore thumbs and we don't want to be dressed completely inappropriately. So, what exactly does dressing formally mean?

Sincerely,

Formally Confused

Dear Formally Confused,

First of all, find out if the event is truly formal -- and what the regional definition of formal is.

Semi-formal can mean anything from dressy office clothes to cocktail party clothing. Formal-wear can mean anything from suits to tuxedos for men and cocktail party wear to ball gown wear for women. Black tie always means tuxedos and ball gown wear.

Where in the world are you?

That said, depending on where you are invited, there are other considerations. For instance, an invitation to a formal-wear event in Southern California can mean a white dress with a good tan and a pedicure for women, but in New York City, it will mean a black cocktail dress with pearls and pumps and stockings if it's winter.

If you're still not sure:

So, know your invitation and know your region. If you're not sure, ask your host or hostess or a friend who's going. As a rule, it's always more respectful of your hosts to err on the conservative, dressy side, rather than the casual side.

Formal-Wear Don'ts

*Never mix fashion genres. For instance, don't mix a Chanel suit with Ugg boots. And unless you're a well-paid rock star, don't mix a suit with sneakers, guys.

*Don't wear the wrong underwear. There is nothing worse than a perfect dress spoiled by unsightly underwear. Don't splurge on the dress and shoes, and wear the wrong bra and panties.

*Don't shy away from color. Black is basic, but you'll feel alive and attract the right kind of attention if you use some color in your look. You can be demure and stylish at the same time. A red wool sheath dress is better than a black one, for example.

*If you don't own -- rent! There are lots of places where you can rent an expensive handbag, jewelry and even a dress if you can't afford what you want to wear. Men have been renting tuxedos for ages when they can't afford them or don't want to purchase them, but now there are lots of outlets that will rent women something spiffy that they would normally not be able to afford to purchase.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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