Healthy Image Example

Give a Healthy Self-Image to Your Daughter Cultivating Self-Esteem in a World Obsessed with Teenage Sexuality

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

Yesterday, I overheard a conversation between my 12-year-old daughter and her friends that really disturbed me. These three normal-looking girls were discussing how they should go on a diet so they lose some weight. Aside from the obvious issues I have with a 12-year-old dieting, I am also concerned that these children would even be talking about the topic!

It's not the first time I've seen my daughter in a situation that just seems beyond her age level and maturity. The clothes we look at in the Juniors section are absolutely ridiculous -- much too revealing and tight. I feel as though my battle to keep my daughter thinking like a normal person with a healthy body image is an uphill one. What can I do to make it easier and more effective?

Signed,

Concerned Mother     

A:

Dear Concerned Mother,

Teenage girls face more challenges today than ever before because of all the exposure and stimulus from exponentially growing outside sources, through technology enhanced and created venues, and less control over this exposure and stimulation by parents.

This gives mothers a dilemma: How to impart self-esteem to teenaged girls in the age of pedophile-chic and sexual craziness?

Here are the answers:

1. Be secure yourself. Set an example. Be the woman you want to be and be aware you are the most important role model in your daughter’s life.

2. Be clear on your views and be clear on why you hold your views. Too many parents don’t weigh in with their children about what’s going on, what they think, and what they expect from their children. Most parents would be surprised to know that their children don’t know what the expectations for them are.

3. Give your child a lot of love — even if you think they’re too old for it. A hug a day is a good rule. A complement a day is also a good rule of thumb. By doing this, you’ll teach your child to see the good in others — and herself.

4. Quit any negativity. Don’t criticize anyone. Be careful with your words. When you criticize, you give your daughter permission to criticize herself and others. Quit it.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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