Heroes: Born Or Made?

Debunking the Idea of the Hero Gene

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I have tried to raise my kids with the best values and morals possible, and I can't help but wonder, when I see "heroism" in the news, how they would react in each situation. I can honestly say I don't know. I'm wondering: are heroes born with a "hero gene," or is it their upbringing that makes them the type of person who'd be a hero?

Sincerely,

Supermom 

A:

Dear Supermom,

There is no hero gene. Heroism is learned behavior. When children -- and even other adults -- are surrounded or exposed to people who perform good deeds, and even heroic deeds, they have the opportunity to decide if this is behavior that they want to adopt in their own lives, or not. The opposite of heroism is cowardice and while there are many shades of grey between the two extremes, heroism can really be defined as the lack of cowardice, and cowardice can be defined as the lack of heroism.

There are many known and unknown reasons for human behavior. 

Some of the known reasons for people's acts of heroism are as follows:

1. Altruism. People who believe in living by good deeds will react a certain way in emergencies. Those who are less heroic, will see these acts as acts of heroes. Those people who are normally altruistic and heroic see these acts as business as usual. Rescuing victims is just "what you do" to these people. Others see heroic acts as going out of one's way or out of the norm, to do something.

2. Ego. Many people who are heroic act this way because they want to be seen by others as heroic. Their motivation is ego-driven. It has nice results for other people.

3. Drama. Some people like drama and are used to it, so they seek it out, knowingly or unknowingly. They will act heroic in order to be part of drama, or to create drama, or to augment drama already in play.

4. Addiction behavior. Adrenaline junkies get a high from acting heroic and they like to perform heroic acts because it gives them a feeling of excitement. This is similar to people who perform heroic acts for reasons of drama. However, there is a slight difference in the reason. Addicts get a physical need met when they get their body to produce more adrenaline. Not just a psychological boost.

5. Fear. Many people who see an emergency in play will act heroically because they are afraid of what will happen if they don't. These people may be afraid of water, but are more afraid of people drowning, so they will jump into water to save someone who is drowning because their fear of the death of someone is greater than their fear of water or their own drowning death.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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