How To Get Over A Break Up

Breakup Advice - 5 Tips Towards Letting Go and Becoming Baggage-Free

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini
Dating Tips and Advice

I've recently gotten out of a long-term relationship, and want to start dating again. The only problem is I think I still have some lingering "issues" from my last partner, and don't want them to negatively affect my future. Any tips on getting over my past relationship and moving on?

Thanks in advance,

Want to Be Baggage-Free

Dear Want to Be Baggage-Free,

There's no way around it: breakups are tough...at best. In fact, I've watched more than a few friends - friends who are smart and hot and could easily find another - stay in terrible relationships just to avoid the breakup. And then there are the others, the ones who may be well out of the relationship time-wise, but are still very much in the relationship when it comes to matters of the heart.

But no matter what your story is (and believe me, everybody's got one), getting through a breakup can be made easier and more effective. Plus, it's a must-do for anyone, man or woman, who wants to find another - a better - relationship...or simply move on.

Follow These Five Common Sense Tips and You'll Be on Your Way to Baggage-Free:

1. Realize that even the best of relationships can come to an end. I think we have a tendency that once a relationship ends, we throw the whole thing into question. To think that its demise was a sign that what you thought was "real" (i.e. - your time together, love, etc.) wasn't. But the truth is that good things - including relationships - can come to an end.

2. Recognize what lessons the relationship taught you. Regardless of whether it was short or long, contentious or amicable, each and every relationship has lessons for you to walk away with.

3. Rationalize your way into positive thinking. Look, we all feel terrible after it's over, but sometimes the only way to really get better is to fake it. Think positively even if it feels untrue, and soon enough, you won't have to force it at all. Create your own reality.

4. Refrain from playing the blame game. If you're really serious about getting over your ex and moving on, you won't wallow in who was right and who was wrong. Instead, take your blame (or guilt, as the case may be) and focus on turning it into a lesson to be learned (see #2).

5. Remain open to future possibilities. After a breakup, it can be hard to imagine meeting someone else and starting all over again. In fact, you may not be able to stomach the idea at all. But in time - and by following the four steps above - you will meet another. And this time, it will be better than before because you've done the hard work necessary to leave your last relationship behind, and to move on with the next, baggage-free and all.

And importantly, now's the time:

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Click here for more relationship advice and how to get over a break up.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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