Learning To Laugh

Helping Your Child Develop His Or Her Sense Of Humor

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

My three-year-old is learning how to socialize with the world around him and he seems to be learning and growing more and more every day. The only negative thing I've been noticing is that he just doesn't seem to laugh very much. I try to joke with him, but it's difficult to joke with a three-year-old and he often doesn't realize that my comments are jokes. How can I make sure my child grows up with a sense of humor?

Sincerely,

Let's Laugh

Dear Let's Laugh,

Humor is a great facet of socialization to develop in your child for the same reason you would nurture any other socialization tool or personal talent that your child had. The extreme of not having a sense of humor is autism and other such disorders where kids don't pick up social cues -- a foundation for humor.

A sense of humor may be genetic, but I don't think there's been any studies to confirm this. Most likely, a sense of humor is learned. A sense of humor can also grow out of a sense of playfulness. Even serious children can develop a very dry wit as they learn about sarcasm and black humor.

If you want to help your child develop his or her sense of humor, here are some tips:

* Define a joke. When you make a joke, say, that was a joke. This may seem simple, but some kids don't realize what a joke is. For others, it's natural. If your child doesn't get it, tell him it's a joke when you make one. Trying to explain what a joke is is too abstract for most kids under the age 10. Learning by example is much easier for younger kids.

* Cue them into the fact that something is a joke. For example, if you say, "Let's have garden hoses and turtles for lunch," you have to wait a second and give a big laugh to show them that you were kidding and that that was an example of a joke. Encourage them to mimic this kind of joke by saying, "What do you want for lunch? Trucks?" And then give another big laugh. Your child may say, "No, I want, grasshoppers for lunch!" and then burst out laughing. He or she will have learned how to tell and enjoy a certain kind of silly joke.

* When things are tense, you can offer a joke as a stress buster. For example, when you break a glass on the floor, you can say, "At least the glass didn't break me!" And give a laugh, cueing your child into the joke. If your child has a tantrum, when they're done, say something like, "Boy, you cried so many tears, I bet I could wash the car with them!" And then laugh to show your child the tantrum and sadness is over, and the stress is releasing.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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