Let Kids Grow Up

Tips For Raising Kids Who Are Self-Sufficient

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Sometimes I worry that I coddle my kids too much. I love them so much and want to be there for them as much as I can, but I also want them to learn how to survive on their own. How can I make sure I'm taking care of my kids to the best of my ability, but also raising them to grow into self-sufficient adults?

Sincerely,

Loving Mom

Dear Loving Mom,

It can be a fine balance trying to care for your children but also teaching them to be self-sufficient. As a mother, you can't help wanting to be there for your children and help them through everything, but you have to know when to let them handle things on their own.

Tips for raising children who are self-sufficient:

1. Be self-sufficient yourself. Children model themselves after what they see and know. If you need help and assistance and play the victim every step of the way, they will, too. If you know how to get help, help yourself, and live self-sufficiently, they will learn to do the same.

2. Give children opportunities to succeed at being self-sufficient. For instance, while planning a dinner party or just a family dinner, have your child set the table. If your child is old enough, have them prepare a salad or another part of the meal. Praise your child for doing well.

3. Don't hover. Helicopter parents who hover over their children at every turn of the way rob their kids the opportunity of being self-suffiicient and independent. Yes, they may make mistakes, but that's what helps people learn.

4. If your child has an aptitude for something that you don't, ask your child to assist you or do something for you. For instance, if your child can TIVO programs on the television for you, or set up video game for you to play with them, ask them to do so and thank them afterward.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

© 2004-2009 AskApril.com, LLC. All rights reserved. AskApril®, AskApril.com®, and Ask April® are registered trademarks owned by Masini Enterprises, Inc. This material can only be republished and redistributed if it is kept in it's original form, including, but not limited to, all AskApril branding, banners, links, books, and credits.