Let Kids Play Like Kids

Why Youth Sports Have Become Serious Business And Tips For Letting Kids Be Kids

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

My son is in the middle school and has played baseball most of his life. He loves the sport but the coaches and parents are so into winning that they’re making it not so fun for him. Some of his teammates parents just stand there screaming at their kids every time they make a little mistake. Some of the kids even have private coaches. Whatever happened to kids playing for fun? This isn’t the pros, after all!

Sincerely,

Let Them Have Fun

Dear Let Them Have Fun,

There are many reasons why sports have become so much more serious for kids these days. But there are also things you can do, as a parent, that will make sports more fun for your kids.

Reasons why youth sports have become so intense lately:

* More divorced parents with more anger and misplaced energy projecting onto their kids. Sounds far-fetched? Try me on this one. Divorcing and divorced parents who battle custody have one more place to wage war -- on the Little League field or the club basketball court. Parents project their feelings of failure and need to succeed onto their child. They also channel their energies into pushing their kid instead of working on themselves.

* College is expensive -- or haven't you noticed? And at the same time, sports have become celebriti-zed. Teams are less important than stars on teams in professional sports, and the celebrity athletes are rewarded with giant bonuses and salaries. Growing up to be a doctor or a lawyer are no longer the only paths to a "good life". Being a star athlete pays. Literally.

* Parents have children later in life when they are more educated, more financially stable, and more aware of how lucky they are to have had that IVF child or that adopted child, squeaking past the biological clock chimes. These self-conscious parents want to give their child everything, and sometimes they forget that less is more. Tutors, coaches and clubs can take the place of love for many parents who want to heap goodness on their kids.

* Parents have more on their plates, and it's normal for parents to have nannies and caregivers who drive the kids to their sports, coaching lessons, and club games. This puts the parent out of touch with the child by not being at the practices and games when the caregiver is, and also using that time to work, themselves, so that they're stressed and tired, also taking them one step away from their kids. All this means that they don't always see that their child is being driven in a sport the way they would if they were present more and clear-minded.

Tips for better behavior as a sports parent:

* Never say anything negative about anyone including your child and other children on your child's team or on other teams. Just don't. Nothing good will come of it and bad stuff will come of it.

* If you can't cheer positively, don't cheer at all. Kids sports is not the place for you to boo the ump or the referee for a call you don't agree with. Teach your child good sportsmanship from the bleachers.

* If you're not the official coach or manager of the team, don't coach or manage the team from the bleachers or otherwise. Don't undermine the official coach or manager.

* If you have a complaint with the coach, the team or the organization, pursue the proper channels for the complaint. Don't start a brawl or a bleacher argument.

* Make sure your child is at all scheduled practices and games well rested, fed and properly suited up. Injuries occur when those three things are not adhered to -- rest, food, and proper equipment wear.

* Volunteer. Bring snacks, organize call lists, assist the coach or find some way to lend a hand.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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