New American Idols

Is Class A Thing Of The Past?

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I remember growing up with lovely ladies like Marilyn Monroe to look up to. They might not have been perfect, but they maintained their dignity at all times. But I’m worried about my daughter growing up with people like Paris Hilton in the spotlight.

Sincerely,

Class Act

Dear Class Act,

Back in the 70s Laurie Partridge smiled demurely from the stage she shared with her family and the only thing she shook was her tambourine. She was pretty and stylish. I idolized her. Marsha Brady had the long, straight hair I wanted and a broad smile with perfectly straight teeth. She had tons of brothers and sisters. I wanted that too. Then there was whichever angel Jaclyn Smith played. She had the perfect hair toss, cool car, calm and confident mannerisms. I never missed an episode featuring any of these three.

Granted, the attributes I mention aren’t particularly noble or deep but what do these poor kids today have to look at? Nothing but a bunch of drug and alcohol addicted, bed hopping, porn producing, purposely puking, hoo ha showing celebrities.

My niece is 11-years-old. We had to laugh when she was 7 or 8 and constantly singing “Whoops, I Did It Again” and “Baby, baby …” with serious effort toward getting it just like Britney. Sweet Lord I pray today that she doesn’t get anything just like Britney. How terrifying. And, really, it was evident then just where Britney would eventually be. You can’t take a 16- or 17-year-old girl, encourage her to dress and gyrate like a stripper in front of thousands and expect to end up with a role model.

And how many families set their clocks by American Idol each week? Practically everyone I know. It’s the latest in “family fun.” That’s wholesome. Especially the part where Paula tries so hard to hold herself in her chair–because of the extreme anti-gravitational forces that must be present on that set–that her tongue hangs out of her mouth and her eyes roll back in her head. I feel the need for a disclaimer here. People tune in just to see how wasted Paula is each week. And she gets paid big bucks to appear that way on national television. Does anyone remember a time when careers were over because of antics like these?

Today it seems like celebrities haven’t “arrived” unless they’ve checked in at a rehab treatment center. And we’re asking why so many of our kids are messed up? The cover of the most recent tabloid magazines, ever present at store checkouts everywhere, feature a bloated Britney, locked-up Lindsay, plastered Paula and other superstar screw-ups. It seems the rich and famous are doing very little else. Again, I ask, who do kids have to admire?

And no unhealthy behavior is left undocumented. Mary Kate Olsen has certainly taken the skeleton out of her closet. In fact, she takes it everywhere she goes. I hate to be callous but I am SO over her, too. She never seems to miss a photo opportunity. Meals, however, are evidently another story. Once the hero of little girls everywhere, today Ms. Olsen looks like she's homeless and starving.

I feel for parents of generation Y’s young girls. Although it’s no picnic trying to raise boys either, girls are undergoing a horrific evolutionary change. Middle school is for divas, it seems. And they’re drinking, drugging, fighting and having sex. Gee -- I wonder why. It’s in the natural order of things for the young to imitate their elders. That’s how all animals (and we are animals) learn to fend for themselves. It’s inherent.

What’s not inherent is such widespread deviant, defiant, destructive activity. That’s learned. I have more questions than I do answers but I know that if I had a young girl today, I’d be shopping for boarding schools on Mars. The only other thing we can do is the one thing that renders the powerful powerless, especially celebrities. Ignore them. Stop feeding their notorious neuroses by tuning in and turning pages to see what they do next.

Now that I think about it, the answer is simple as answers usually are. Stop buying the insanity and the insanity will stop.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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