New Baby In The House

Preparing Kids for the Arrival of a New Sibling

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I am eight months pregnant with my second child. For the last five years, my son has been the center of our family. I'm concerned that with the arrival of his new little brother, he is going to be totally shocked. Whereas all my time is spent paying attention to him now, I of course know how much attention a new baby takes. I'm concerned he's going to freak out a bit and I don't want him to resent his little brother.

What can I do to make this transition easy and help him understand what's happening?

Sincerely,

Mom-To-Be ... Again 

A:

Dear Mom-to-Be ... Again,

Since you're thinking about this ahead of time, there are several things you can do to prepare your son for the birth of his brother, giving him as much information beforehand and reducing the "shock" of a new baby in the house when it does happen. Here are some ideas: 

*Take your child on a sibling tour of the hospital. Some hospitals offer official sibling tours for the soon-to-be big sister or brother of your new baby. If not, take an informal tour to show your child where you will be staying for a few days when the baby is born.

*Plan for separation. One of the hardest things on a new big sister or brother is the forced separation they feel with mom who naturally has to take care of the new baby. Talk about this ahead of time and emphasize special treats for the new big brother or sister with grandma, grandpa, a favorite aunt or babysitter -- this is the time to lay on the treats: circus tickets, toys, etc. for the new big brother or sister. 

*Talk to your child's pre-school teacher or elementary school teacher/s and caretakers to alert them of the new situation in the family. They will be able to help smooth the way for the older child's transition from only child to big sister or brother. 

*Be prepared for some very normal backlash, such as your older child wanting to send the baby back, not liking or wanting the baby and/or acting out. Don't chastise the older child. Try understanding and strain your patience. This is a very big deal for the older child.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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