New Teen Hang-Out

Teens and Tweens Love Starbucks For More Than The Coffee

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

Lately, my 16-year-old daughter wants to spend all her time at our local Starbucks. She's not really into coffee and says she just likes to go to hang out with her friends. Why are teens heading to Starbucks to hang out these days, and should I be worried about letting her go there too much?

Sincerely,

Stumped By Starbucks

A:

Dear Stumped by Starbucks,

Starbucks doesn't just provide an alternative drink. It provides a venue to go with this drink. For teens looking for a place to hang out -- that is perfectly legal, Starbucks fits the bill. Whether or not you approve of coffee and coffee-styled drinks for teens, the reality is, it's legal -- unlike bars.

The thing to remember is that teens and pre-teens are in the process of separating from their parents and families, and individuating into their own adults. Hanging out with peers instead of with family is normal and even a healthy step in this maturation process. The bad news is that parents who love control, lose it at this time when their children would rather be with peers than with them. Because pre-teens can't drive, they're limited to finding private places (without parents around) to hang out. After school, they hang out around the schoolyard or local parks. They're easily found at malls. And now, Starbucks shops are the new corner candy stores!

Here are the reasons why teens love Starbucks:

* Coffee shops are a legal place for teens to hang out and imbibe. There are no laws that keep teens from drinking coffee, coffee drinks or muffins, the staple of coffee shops. This isn't like teens hanging out at bars, where they're not of age to do so. 

* Coffee shops are less like malls because they are smaller and more contained. It's easier to keep track of teens and for teens to keep track of each other. In malls, you never know where the kids are, who they're running off with, or if they lose each other on different floors, or in different stores. 

* Coffee shops sell sugary drinks that are less caffeine and more milkshake. In fact, it's almost difficult to get a pure caffeine drink at many of them these days. Whipped, ice-blended, juice drinks are all the norm. 

* The bad news is that many coffee shops substitute for the school cafeteria, and teenage girls, prone to eating disorders or just trying to be thin, will drink caffeine drinks at these shops, in lieu of eating "real food" because caffeine can be an appetite suppressant, and the pre-teens know this and exploit it at the expense of their health. 

Starbucks is different from McDonald's because McDonald's was all about a cheap meal. Starbucks promotes a lifestyle -- in fact, it looks like a living room more than a cafeteria. In this way, Starbucks picked up where McDonald's left off. 

I wouldn't worry about why your daughter is hanging out at Starbucks; it seems perfectly natural. But like anything else, everything in moderation works best!

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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