Parenting Tips - Name Calling Hurts

Sticky Labels - Why Calling a Kid Good or Bad is a Problem

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

My son is heading up to our local high school in September, and there's a problem. He's had trouble in classes and a few disciplinary issues, and now he's known as a "bad kid" by all the teachers. I am really upset that he'll be showing up at school with a reputation. Is there any way to get over this bump, and what kinds of effects might it have on him? I'm considering going in and discussing this with his teachers, but I'm not sure what to say.

Sincerely,

Good Mom 

A:

Dear Good Mom,

It's important you talk to your son's future teachers. Let them know the potentially harmful effects a "reputation" can have.

Kids are especially vulnerable and they will become what they're called. If you label a child and call them good they will believe that they're good. If you label them bad, they will believe that they're bad. If you label them talented, they will believe that they're talented. If you label them stupid, they will believe that they're stupid. In spite of a genius IQ, kids will still listen to what their family and peers call them. 

Words are powerful. The pen is mightier than the sword was written before technology made the word something that could be typed on a keyboard and broadcast around the world in nano-seconds. When kids hear labels for themselves or others, they share those labels with the community in person or on MySpace and other websites, instant messages and cell phone calls. 

It's very important for all of us to be careful with our words at all ages. Say what you mean and don't say it if you don't mean it. 

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

Date Out Of Your League Think & Date Like a Man Ideas for a Fun Date Romantic Date Ideas

© 2004-2009 AskApril.com, LLC. All rights reserved. AskApril®, AskApril.com®, and Ask April® are registered trademarks owned by Masini Enterprises, Inc. This material can only be republished and redistributed if it is kept in it's original form, including, but not limited to, all AskApril branding, banners, links, books, and credits.