Pet Ready Child?

Making the Right Decision for Your Family

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

My seven-year-old son has been begging me for a dog. I don't mind the idea, but I am concerned about the amount of work. I also have a younger daughter, so I'm pretty busy. My son has said he'll take care of the chores, like feeding it or taking it out to the backyard, but I still think it might be a lot of work for me. I'm also concerned he might lose interest in the idea after a few months and be no help at all. At what age is he old enough for me to believe that he actually wants a dog, and this isn't just a phase?

Sincerely,

Busy Mom 

A:

Dear Busy Mom,

How do you know if your child is ready for a pet, and isn't just imitating what he sees on TV or at a friend's house?

You don't. You are the one who needs to be ready for the pet — not your child. Unless your child is a teenager, they will not be able to take care of a pet without supervision, so you will be the overseer. Are you ready?

It is unrealistic to expect a toddler or small child to take care of a pet. In fact, if they are deemed responsible for the pet, and the pet dies, you may have saddled your child with an unfortunate emotional burden.

Rather than teach your child responsibility through your pet, teach your child humanity. Being kind to a pet is an important value to be taught. Disciplining a pet is also an important value to be taught. Your pet is not another human being and it is important for children to understand. Pets are animals — no matter how domesticated they may seem. A dog will bite someone if he is tormented. A cat will scratch if it’s tail is pulled.

If you have a baby, a pet is not what you need in the house. When your child is a few years old (like three or four — preferably potty trained, so less burden on you), you may want to consider a starter pet like a fish. When you move on to pets that the child will come directly into contact with, check with your vet about what pets are good with small children.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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