Prom Perfection

Are High School Proms Getting Out of Control?

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

My daughter's high school prom is coming up and I'm shocked by the behavior of all of these teenagers. Honestly, you'd think everyone was getting engaged, not getting invited to the prom! Boys are dropping down on one knee and buying expensive jewelry or sending their potential date on elaborate scavenger hunts. And I think they're all planning on spending more money on their prom than I did on my own wedding. What gives?

Sincerely,

Prom Proposals

Dear Prom Proposals,

It's harder to be a teenager today than it used to be. The reason is that kids and teens are exposed to way more than kids and teens ever were. Innocence is lost much earlier. Secondary sexual characteristics develop much earlier. Kids have a shorter time to be just kids. They are forced to grow up faster by society and by their own parents -- either by adopting societal views or abdicating any parental responsibility and just not being there. Absence of parenting is just as bad as intentionally bad parenting in many instances.

Children are not just subjected to sexuality as early as eight -- with kiddy thongs sold in stores like Abercrombie and Fitch and other pedophile chic fashions -- they're expected to act overtly sexual and older than their years thanks to television, internet, and other media and businesses that understand sex sells and that teenagers command sales dollars.

That's why you'll see the limousine as the prom transport of choice these days. Limo companies are no dummies and they know their market. And parents are scared of enforcing their parental authority by saying enough is enough or even a simple, "No." So in addition to limousines, the prom industry is now churning out business opportunities just like the depression proof wedding industry. Prom dresses are no longer just department store deals. Many teens in middle class and upper middle class neighborhoods are spending more on their prom dresses than their mothers spent on their own wedding gowns.

Over the top parents have made hotels and other such venues the new prom site when the gym used to be decorated with tissue paper ornaments and balloons. Face it -- it's all over the top, and the kid's behavior of dropping to one knee to propose a prom date mimics a marriage proposal -- and prom night, for many kids, mimics a wedding night.

Yes, it's competitive, yes it's pressure from businesses, and yes it's extravagant. It's also not in the best interest of these teenagers to treat them like adults on their wedding nights when they should just be teens on their prom nights out for a night of fun.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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