Relationship Advice - I Do...Not Want To Wear My Wedding Ring

Advice for When It's OK to Take Your Marriage Band Off and What You Should Do to Protect It

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I recently got married and I am very much in love with my wife. We have a sort of on-going argument, however, about whether or not it's ok for me to take my wedding band off. I usually wear it, but I always take it off when I go to the gym and I sometimes forget to put it back on. When I come home without wearing it, all hell breaks loose! She gets really upset that I'm not wearing it, and even more upset when she finds it in the bottom of my gym bag (oops). Isn't it okay for me to take my ring off sometimes, though? I know some men who don't wear them at all! Please give me some advice that could help save my relationship and stop arguments with my wife.

Sincerely,

Semi-Ringless Newlywed

A:

Dear Semi-Ringless Newlywed, 

Your wedding band lets the world know that you're married. It's a sign of commitment, and in more traditional days, it was a sign of property -- that is that women belonged to their husbands. Only in more recent times have men started wearing rings to signify that they, too, are "owned" or committed to their wives -- or in homosexual relations, to their appropriate partners.

The wedding band is a great signal to anyone who's searching for a date or a mate that you're taken! So, wearing your ring will send that message to anyone who's looking --- and there are lots of singles looking these days. So, it's understandable why your wife wants you to be wearing your ring!

When it's okay for you to take your wedding ring off:

It's entirely appropriate and okay for you to take your ring off if it's uncomfortable. Whether you're at the gym working on machines, in yoga class, or you're doing something else where your ring is making you uncomfortable or is in the way, you can absolutely take it off. Any problems with this situation only come when your spouse doesn't trust you, or vice versa. If that's the case, you have more to talk about with your spouse than just whether or not you're wearing your ring. You have trust and commitment issues.

Insuring your wedding ring: 

But make sure that your ring is insured, if it's valuable. This is especially important if, when you take your ring off, you're just throwing it into your gym bag! Of course, if you do lose your ring, you will have lost more than just a pricey piece of jewelry. You will have lost something that is sentimental. So in addition to insuring your ring with an insurance company or putting a jewelry rider on your home owner's policy to cover it's possible loss, many men and women choose to wear a simple wedding band during the day and leave their pricey wedding jewelry for special or appropriate occasions. This way they get to still show their commitment and their marital status without running the risk of losing their wedding day jewelry or their engagement jewelry.

For some fun activities you and your new wife can do together, check out my book, Romantic Date Ideas, perfect for newlyweds!

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

© 2004-2009 AskApril.com, LLC. All rights reserved. AskApril®, AskApril.com®, and Ask April® are registered trademarks owned by Masini Enterprises, Inc. This material can only be republished and redistributed if it is kept in it's original form, including, but not limited to, all AskApril branding, banners, links, books, and credits.