Retail Therapy Or Addiction?

Walking the Line Between Shopping for Fun and Addiction

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I have always loved to shop. When other women would eat ice cream or exercise compulsively over something that upset them, like a breakup, I would hit the mall. I've never been extravagant -- one of my favorite things is the sale rack -- but I tend to buy in quantity.

It's never been too much of a problem for me, but lately I've noticed the need to shop more. I recently ended a relationship and I don't need a degree in psychology to know I might be reacting to that -- this is how I've always reacted to breakups. But this time, it's bad. I've run up credit card debt, but every day I'm coming home with something new. I'm not an alcoholic, so I can't go to AA, but I feel like I should be in some sort of support group or something! Is this a real problem, or just a phase?

Sincerely,

Shopaholic 

A:

Dear Shopaholic,

Shopping can be addicting. Technology can be addicting. So can narcotics. So can food. So can sex. But not to everyone — only to people who have addictive tendencies, or an addictive personality.

Addiction is a serious medical condition, and it’s causes and cures are complicated and still widely unknown. Addicts have a different chemical make up than people who are not addicts and methodone programs which have proven effective practice the substitution of a lesser harmful drug for a more harmful drug, and then a weaning off of that drug. When the substance is not a drug, but shopping, the same practice can be used of substituting a less harmful substance — or a less attractive substance — like watching television or jogging — as a way to break the cycle of needing to shop. An exercise class or a cooking class or a stack of magazines could also be used to break the cycle, as the methadone is used on heroin addicts.

Until addicts are recognized as people with different chemical make ups than non-addicts, and are treated differently, they will continue to run up against well meaning family members and friends who don’t understand why if the person loved them, they’d quit using.

All this said, liking to shop is very different from being addicted. A person can enjoy shopping, but not need to shop. When shopping becomes a secret and interfering with daily life, then it may be becoming an addiction.

If you feel you are addicted to shopping, consider focusing your energies in other areas and sharing this problem with your family and friends to try getting help. This is especially important if you feel you are running up too much credit card debt or that your budget has been completely blown by your shopping habit.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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