Ritzy Preschools

Weighing the Pros & Cons: Are They Really Worth It?

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

Are these elite, wildly expensive, exclusive preschools are really worth the money? After all, finger painting is finger painting, right?  Is there some way quantify whether an investment of that magnitude is worth it?


Signed,

Ritzy Preschool Query

A:

Dear Ritzy Preschool Query, 

When it comes to pre-schools, there are now as many choices of venue as there are choices of cars -- but it's easier to choose a car for many people, than it is to choose a pre-school for their toddler.  And here's why ...

PRESCHOOL CHOICES CAN BE DIFFICULT FOR MANY PARENTS:

  1. Parents are waiting longer to have children -- often into their 40s. By this time most parents are better educated, financially situated and along in their careers than parents in their 20s. With all that knowledge and experience under their belts, they are choosier in many cases.
  2. The advice generation of parents. There are SO many places to get parenting advice -- from grandma to Dr. Spock to T. Berry Brazelton to Penelope Leach to television to the internet -- that there is an overload of information and advice. Many parents ponder ALL of it, and research pre-schools the same way they would a PhD thesis.
  3. Insecurity looms. Fear of making the wrong decision and fear of not measuring up to the Jones' means that a lot of parents need approval by the truckload before they decide on a pre-school.
  4. Price. With many pre-school annual tuition costing more than the annual tuition at a state college or university, parents want to know what it is that they're getting for their money. The answer is often elusive.
THE PROS & CONS of EXPENSIVE PRESCHOOLS
  1. Funding. Many expensive preschools pay their teachers and staff better than less expensive preschools. Sometimes this means the ability to afford better educated and experienced staff and administrators. It also may mean better facilities. A large, green yard as opposed to a concrete yard. Computers instead of an abacus. On the other hand, sometimes more money just means more money -- not better anything. Money is a tool, and the tool is either well used or not well used.
  2. Selectivity. Many expensive preschools automatically exclude children who's parents cannot afford the tuition. This creates a well-edited group of people, but prevents diversity. Whether or not a preschooler notices these things is questionable. The parents do.
  3. Favoritism. The dirty little secret of ritzy preschools is that fundraising is a big part of the preschool life, and the more a family gives, the more the child of that family may be favored. Ugly but true.
  4. More, more, more. When children go to ritzy preschools, the standards at homes are different and playdates may yield questions of mom and dad later, like, Why don't we have a screening room at our house? Why don't we have a driver instead of just our family driving? If parents are up to this, great. If not, there may be some anxiety that gets transferred to the child.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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