Should I Join a Frat?

Advice on Weighing the Pros and Cons of Fraternities Before Pledging

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Dating Tips and Advice

Q: Dear April Masini,

I'm going to be entering college this year and I am excited to be attending one with a big Greek system. I have been trying to decide whether to pledge a fraternity or not. On one hand, I think it would be a great boost for my social life and I figure it would be an easy way to make friends. On the other hand, I want to do well in school. I don't want to be distracted from work too much, especially during my first year, and I certainly don't want to restrict the types of friends I make.

Are fraternities everything they're billed to be and can you give me advice on whether or not to join one? 

Signed,

Future Frat Boy 

A:

Dear Future Frat Boy,

Fraternities seem to have two totally different images: many claim they do a lot of good in the community while others point to stories of hazing and exclusion. Both are likely true, and you need to make the decision that's right for you. With that being said, here are a few of the pros and cons of joining a frat to help you make that important decision:

Pros:

  1. College fraternities and sororities serve as extended families when students are away from their biological and legal families. This can be a wonderful form of support and comfort during a difficult time and/or transition.
  2. Fraternities and sororities can serve as extended family well after college is over and done with. In fact, parents and grandparents may still socialize and fondly remember each other because of the bond they made during college in their sororities and fraternities.
  3. Team work and being a team player is emphasized and exercised. Women who don’t play sports don’t get this opportunity, normally

Cons:

  1. If a student doesn’t click within the fraternity or sorority, they can feel ostracized and lonely.
  2. Being part of a fraternity or sorority may limit a student from testing other waters because a social system is so easily available in the form of that group.
  3. Hazing and other bad habits can be celebrated and proliferated in a fraternity and sorority to detrimental effects.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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