Sick Day For Family

Advice For Working Parents With Sick Kids

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I have two kids who seem to get sick all of the time. However, I barely have any sick time that I can take from my job, making it really difficult for me to stay home when they aren't feeling well. Unfortunately, this often means I have to scoot them off to school even when I know they should be at home resting. Do you have any advice for working parents with sick kids who need to stay home from school?

Sincerely,

Get Better Fast

Dear Get Better Fast,

Your kids should be your first priority and they definitely should not be sent off to school when they're sick, especially if they're contagious!

How to come up with a backup plan:

Plan is the operative word here. When your child is NOT sick, pull together a list of babysitters, relatives who can function as babysitters, neighbors who will come through in a pinch, and babysitting agencies that are certified, recommended, etc. Have an UPDATED list of phone numbers for these people. Often local universities have job offices with students who want to do this kind of work. The trick is to keep a supply ready BEFORE you need emergency help.

Talk to your company, boss, and personnel department about this situation and how to handle it. You'll be able to "take the temperature" of your company on its policies -- written and unwritten.

How to talk to your boss:

Be honest. Don't demand -- ask for advice. If your boss says you have to be in the office, and you think your child has meningitis, then you have to be firm with your boss. But for most garden variety flus your child will get, ask your boss's advice. They may become an ally and resource instead of an obstacle.

How to negotiate with spouse:

Be honest. Respect boundaries. Make deals about this situation when your child is NOT sick, so that the emotions and panic are removed from the situation. It's much easier to negotiate with anyone when there is no duress.

Can you take a "sick day" yourself?

Sure, why not? You may have to lie about it, but if you have no other choice, as a parent, your first priority is your child.

How to be respectful of co-workers:

It's a huge issue for moms. A kid with the flu or pink eye could be home for more than a week.

Having children and raising them is a messy proposition at best. The expectation that things will go smoothly is a set up for comedy and/or disaster. Be realistic. You're going to have sticky situations. Find your sense of humor and keep your priorities straight. Not everyone is supposed to be your friend and/or supporter. Some will, some won't. Find the ones who will. Tolerate the ones who won't.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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