Stranger Safety

Teaching Kids About Strangers

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

It's time to have the inevitable, "Don't get in a car with strangers" talk with my five-year-old. The only thing is, I remember when my parents had that talk with me, and I was terrified for weeks. I don't want to do that to her, but I want her to be able to go out and play in the neighborhood and know what to say if someone approaches her.

How do I warn her of the dangers without making her terrified of the world?

Sincerely,

Worried Dad 

A:

Dear Worried Dad,

This is only the first of many difficult talks you'll have with your daughter. There are a couple of fool-proof things you can say to your daughter that will neither embarrass nor frighten her, but that will stick with her if she is ever faced with a stranger to help keep her safe.

Ways to Have the "Stranger Talk"

1. "Don't talk to strangers," is an old standby that works. Yes, it may render your child anti-social, but until your child is mature enough to differentiate between a friendly stranger and a stranger who's a danger, err on the side of safety. 

2. "Never get in a car with someone you don't know."  You have to tell your child that there are bad guys in the world. The reason you have to tell them this is to protect them and to allow them to understand reality. Yes, it's a loss of innocence, but that's what going out in the world is about. If you're not ready to teach your child this, then keep them inside until you are. 

3. "Never let anyone touch you where your bathing suit goes." The bathing suit is a good delineation for appropriate and inappropriate touching places. You don't have to get into genitals and names for genitals, and this rule is one that kids can repeat to each other without feeling embarrassed. And, they'll understand it.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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