Stress Got You Down?

Dealing With And Alleviating Your Stress

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I am currently in graduate school, working a full time job, and trying to spend enough time with my boyfriend, friends, and family. I think I'm ready to have a heart attack! I just can't seem to fit in all the things I need to get done with only 24 hours in a day. Sometimes I just want to come home from work and pass out, but I can't, because I have school for four hours! It's getting to the point where I feel like I can't even function anymore. I am so stressed out; I just want to crawl into a hole and hide from all my work and responsibility. Any advice on how I can keep myself from going crazy?

Sincerely,

Stressed to Tears

Dear Stressed to Tears,

Stress … it’s making magazine covers and getting lots of medical attention. It’s a very real issue and its effects are known, but its causes have to do with individuals. Not everyone reacts to stress the same way. Some people are sensitive, some very sensitive, and some hyper-sensitive, while others are not so sensitive. The effects of stress vary from individual to individual. And you sound like you are pretty sensitive and ready for some help!

How can you find relief?

Short-term solutions are so myriad that there is now a stress industry. Not surprisingly there is also a booming wedding industry, a booming divorce industry, and a booming dating industry. See any connections? I do!

Short of alleviating the root causes of these stresses — incompatibility, intolerance, lack of flexibility, and open-mindness, there is something for everyone! From short-term talk therapy to drug therapy to aromatherapy to massage (touch therapy) to comfort food to different herbal teas to yoga — the list goes on and on and on!

Basically, these short-term therapies help open up channels to release stress. They don’t stop stress, but what they do is unblock channels by which stress is released. Aromatherapy stimulates senses that may distract you from patterns of tension (clenching, grinding, obsessing). Massage breaks up muscle knots and areas of the body where people hold tension, again, by clenching, grinding and flexing.

Here are some solutions that can help you alleviate stress:

1. Get a massage. Now, more than ever, you need to take care of your body to take care of all the tasks and family and friends. A massage is an hour out of a day that will pay off exponentially. Consider it an early present to yourself.

2. Get a manicure/pedicure. It’s not as dumb as it sounds. Sitting in the chair, alone, for the time it takes for your fingers and toes to be done, is a forced rest period. The polish is a bonus.

3. Take yourself out to lunch for one. And not at a drive through! Sit yourself down at a nice restaurant and order yourself a salad or an entree that someone else is going to take the time to prepare for you. Have a glass of wine and an espresso before and after. Like the manicure/pedicure, sitting at a restaurant waiting for your order, eating your lunch, and sipping your coffee after is a forced rest. Your body will rejuvenate from the rest. Your body will be nourished by the healthy (not grabbed on the go) food, and your spirit will thank you for taking care of you so you can take care of others.

4. Make time for sex. Trust me — in all the hustle bustle, you’ll forget. You’ll be too tired. You’ll have shopping, baking, and etc. to do that it will take precedence if you don’t make time for sex — a stress buster, rejuvenator and relationship builder.

5. Buy yourself a new fragrance. Aromatherapy is no joke. Inhaling a pleasing fragrance that is new, will give you a pleasant jump start. Relieve your stress and treat your senses — and everyone else’s around you!

6. Take one night a week to go out on a special date night with your boyfriend. You can find some fabulous and fun ideas in my book, Romantic Date Ideas. You will have a blast and the alone time will be good for your relationship.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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