Time's A-Tickin'

Discipline Yourself to Be on Time

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Dating Tips and Advice

Q: Dear April Masini,

I have a bad habit of keeping my friends waiting when I make plans with them. They know when I tell them to meet me for lunch at 1, that I really mean 1:30. Is this a bad habit or a personable quick?

Sincerely,

Lately Late

A:

Dear Lately Late,

*Understand and accept how being late affects other people. One of the problems of people being late is that they tend to be narcissistic. They think mostly about themselves, and not about the effects of their behavior on others. 
*If someone is consistently late, modify your own behavior. Do not enable behavior that is destructive -- whether it's alcoholism or being late. While one is much worse than the other, obviously, the remedy is often similar. Don't wait around indefinitely for someone who is late. Set yourself a boundary and be clear about it. If your boundary is 20 minutes, wait 20 minutes and then leave or start without them. If their behavior is consistently late, don't do things with them again or don't include them in a project. Make timeliness a valuable asset.

* Stay organized. Often if someone is late or missing appointments it's a warning sign that they have too much on their plate, and need to alleviate some of their load in order to do a better job with what they have. If they don't, the load gets lightened for them without their consent, usually, and it's an inferior remedy to lightening your load yourself.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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