Tips for Firing Employees -- and Friends

Fire An Employee And Maintain Your Dignity -- And Theirs

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I just took on a new management position at work, which means I will have to be in charge of many hiring and firings. The hiring I can handle just fine, but how on Earth do I fire someone I work with? I'm not the type of person who likes to cause problems so I'm really worried about having hiring my employees. Do you have any advice for how I can ease the pain of firing someone, especially someone I may be close with?

Sincerely,

Boss Afraid Of Fire

Dear Boss Afraid Of Fire,

Congratulations on your new position! While this is a very exciting period in your life, it can also take some time to get used to your new responsibilities. And though firing an employee is never a fun job, there are some things you can do to ease the pain for everyone involved.

Below are some do's and don’ts for firing that will help ease these transitions:

* Do be frank, direct and honest about firings. If the firing is about company cut backs, let the employee who is being fired know that this has nothing to do with them personally, or their job performance. If it is about their job performance, let them know that their performance was not up to standards for this particular company.

* Do not demoralize a person beyond what you are firing them for. Do not tell them they’ll never work in this industry again. Do not tell them they’re stupid or bad at what the do. Keep it clear — that the job they did in this instance did not meet the standards of the company.

* Do give employees two weeks notice. Unless they’ve committed a crime, you need to allow them two weeks to absorb the shock and transition out of their job. It’s called closure and respect.

* Do not expect normal work from them during the two weeks before they leave. They will do their best — if they can — and if they can’t, they won’t. Don’t heap new projects or work or extra hours on them. In fact, if you can, lighten their load during this time.

As a new boss, you may have some friends who you're interested in hiring because you know they'd be great for the job. However, what if your friend doesn't perform up to par? Firing a friend can be one of the most difficult things a boss has to deal with. Here are some tips to make the job just a bit easier for both of you.

What to do if you hire a friend and it isn’t working out:

1. Keep communication clear. It is not always possible to keep communication open because, as your friend’s employer, there may be things you know and have to handle at work that you cannot tell your employees — including your friend. Make this dynamic clear.

2. Take a break from social situations where your friend will be. Don’t pretend that you want to talk about work every time you see your friend. Tell him or her that you would like to just enjoy the social situation that you are both attending, and not talk work. If this doesn’t work out, take a night off from a social situation — or go elsewhere where your friend will not be.

3. Stay neutral as much as possible. Nepotism doesn’t just happen with family members. Friends count, too. Keep your perspective.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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