Unplug Your Teen

Tips For Getting Your Teen to Stop Listening to Music 24/7 and Start Participating in Conversation.

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

My teenage son is driving me crazy! All he wants to do is listen to his music on his earbuds. It's like he doesn't want to socialize with anyone, and just wants to hear his music. He wears his earbuds while he does his homework, while he's in the car, and sometimes even at the dinner table! He's a good kid and does all of his homework right after school, and is really well behaved, so I don't want to seem like I'm punishing him. How can I make him take his earbuds out and participate in conversation without seeming like a dictator of a mom?

Sincerely,

Mother of a Tech-Teen

A:

Dear Mother of a Tech-Teen,

These days, many parents are having the same exact problem with their kids. With such exciting technology and hot, new music, why would he want to stop listening to it? And at least he's not bothering anyone else, and is listening to his music on his earbuds, instead of blasting it in his bedroom. Yet, it's good that you've noticed that this is a problem and you want to do something to fix it. It's not easy, but there are certainly things you can do to unplug your teen and get him to socialize!

4 Tips To Unplug Your Teen:

1. Take a hard line. This works if you've raised your child a certain way -- with a family structure that has the parents as the governing figures and the children as the subjects. If you have, telling them to take their earbuds out will work -- but if you're unreasonable or unpredictable, you're going to destroy any trust you have. Set a schedule for when they can wear their earbuds and when they can't, so everyone is on the same page and you're not a dictator -- just a caring parent. 

2. Offer them something better than what they've got. A shopping trip, a movie, dinner with family and friends -- substitute something social for something anti-social. 

3. Let's make a deal. If your teen doesn't like something you do -- like you're always on your cell phone, they think, when they want to ask you something, or you're always at work when they need a ride, offer to make them a deal. In exchange for you limiting your cell phone time, or giving them exclusive Friday night rides wherever they want, they take out their earbuds when you ask them to -- or at certain times of the day or week. 

4. Make certain places plug-friendly, and other places not so plug-friendly. For instance, allow them to plug in in their rooms, but not at the dinner table. Allow them to plug in when they're doing their homework, but not in the car. Map out the plug/unplug territories in your family world. 

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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