Parents' Responsibility To Protect Their Children
By
Relationship Advice Expert April MasiniQ: Dear April Masini,
I allow my kids to use the Internet, and though we have parental protection software on the computer, as they get older I worry they will find a way around it and start doing things they shouldn't, like making MySpace profiles. I feel like there should be laws that prevent certain sites from even being established, but the last time I heard about one, it was overturned by a judge as unconstitutional. Whose responsibility is it to police the Internet, and how can I keep my kids safe?
Sincerely,
Cyber-Savvy Mom
A:
Dear Cyber-Savvy Mom,
Judges are not here to raise our children or make public policy. They are merely here to enforce laws. The First Amendment counts.
However, there is a big problem in society today, and families are turning to courts and businesses to raise their children because they've lost their own leadership skills -- and the children fall prey.
Parents ARE the ones who need to stop giving up their parenting power to the rest of the world, and then wringing their hands when their children get into trouble. If you don't want the responsibility of having children, then don't have them. Or put them up for adoption -- Angelina Jolie is taking bids. But if you do decide to have children, then take on the responsibility of raising them until they are legal adults and no longer your responsibility as legal minors.
Tips for Raising Children in the Internet Age:
Online predators are up to no good. From lurking to engaging in titillating online relationships to meeting in person for unsavory ends -- children and teens need to be protected from online predators. Because technology is booming faster than enforcement of the communications provided by the Internet today, safety is most definitely an issue.
Back to school safety tips no longer include JUST don't talk to strangers and don't take candy from anyone you don't know. There are many more dangers for children and teens than ever before. Below are tips for online safety:
1. Recognize technology boom. If you're still struggling with the VCR (does anyone still have one?), then you need to get with the program for safety's sake. Schools use computers and online websites regularly now. They also expect students to be computer literate, have computer access and use computer websites for homework. Be involved in your student's academic life, and know what teachers expect from your children in terms of online activity.
2. Find out about parental controls. Your Internet service provider will be able to tell you what parental controls are offered to your child, and you will have the option to lock out unsafe websites and access to certain areas of the cyber-world. However ... understand that this is only on your computer in your home. Your child has access to computers at school, at public libraries and at friends' homes.
3. Unsupervised play-dates mean anything goes. Just because your little angel doesn't do anything inappropriate doesn't mean that the people he or she plays with don't, or that the family members of the people he or she plays with don't. Your child may have access to porn, unsafe websites and more freedom than you want for them on other people's computers. Know where your child is, with whom, and make your concerns clear to the supervising adult.
4. Don't be naive. Porn websites are not the only places your child may have access to inappropriate images and reading material. Ads for clothing companies that sell to tweens, teens and even children, have sexualized their content to lure in curious kids. Beware. But even better -- be prepared.
5. Monitor your child's browsing activity. Every now and then check the history of your child's browsing. Only allow them MySpace or other "club" site passwords if you have access to the password. There are creeps out there who lurk as teens, when they're actually adults looking for trouble. Your child may be the victim.
April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas,
and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.
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