When The Time Is Right

Getting What You Want: It's Not How You Do It, It's When You Do It

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

My friend always tells me that getting what you want is not in how you do it, but rather in when you do it. She says if you catch people at the right times, you're bound to get what you want. Is this true and what things do you think this applies to? When should I ask for that raise I've been hoping for?

Sincerely,

Perfect Time of Day

A:

Dear Perfect Time of Day,

Your friend's right. There are lots of instances where you are more likely to get what you want if you ask for it at the right time. Here are some of those things.

Get a haircut -- Getting a haircut does not mean you have to be a slave to salon hours and your work schedule. Think outside the box for a great cut and a great day.

* Don't be wedded to one beautician. Hair cutters like their customers to be loyal to them, but if loyalty doesn't work for your schedule, forget it. Don't lie to your hairdresser, but don't give up your needs for your hairdresser. It's not the right chain of command. Tell your hairdresser, if you do have just one, that you love them, but you're going to have to find a couple of hairdressers to accommodate your schedule -- whether it's busy, sporadic, unplan-able, etc. Your hairdresser may want to keep what business he or she can with you, and may want to help you find hairdressers who can cut your hair if he or she can't. Or your hairdresser may totally understand. Or....they may throw a hissy fit. Deal with any of the consequences. Remember. The goal is to get a haircut when you need it, so find three or four options for haircutters.

* Make it clear to your hairdresser/s that you are willing to come in after hours -- either at 6 a.m., 9 p.m. or on weekends.

* Make it clear that you will come to them, have them come to you or meet at your office, etc. Make your venue flexible.

Ask for a raise -- The secret to asking for a raise is to know your boss. Know your bosses busy hours, good hours, bad hours, etc. If you don't know, find out. Ask someone who knows your boss well -- whether it's his or her secretary or a co-worker, for advice. Don't ask for a raise when your boss is busy, distracted or in transition. The best way to ask your boss for a raise is to first ask your boss if they have fifteen minutes to talk this week, and if so, can you make an appointment for that 15 minutes. This gives them the opportunity to pick a good time, and you should accommodate that since you're the one who's asking.

Respond to e-mail -- Respond to e-mail three times a day. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once in the evening. When you know what your schedule is for response, you won't feel panicked that you're not going to get to it.

Buy produce -- Find out when your store gets fresh produce and buy that day. Warehouse stores like Costco have fresh shipments of produce more often than small stores, but you'll have to buy bigger quantities of produce at a warehouse store. If you can't get to the store on the day the produce is most freshly shipped, schedule a store delivery to your house or if you're not home, your neighbor's house or your office.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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