Women Sabotaging Themselves

3 Examples of How the Average Female Sabotages Herself

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

I recently talked to an ex-boyfriend for the first time in years. We had a great relationship but a terrible break-up, so we were both reluctant to see each other again. Our re-connection went well, but he said that I had sabotaged myself and us, and it really stuck with me. At first I was defensive against the claim, but for whatever reason the claim stayed in my mind. Do you think women sabotage themselves and their relationships a lot?

Sincerely,

Sabotaging Stacey 

A:

Dear Sabotaging Stacey, 

It's always good to hear of exes becoming friends again because they knew you very intimately in ways that some friends may not even know. And because of that, your ex may be on to something.

One of the most obvious ways that I see women sabotaging themselves is not knowing what it is they want when it comes to a man. Oh, sure. They think that they know what they want, but more often than not, they don't know what their dealbreakers are, and what they are willing to compromise on.

Here are three examples:

* Relationship. I know it sounds simple, but most women don't even know what kind of relationship they want until after they've been dating someone for a while -- and that means that they're wasting time -- theirs and their partner's. They aren't sure if they want to date casually, if they want to find a husband or if they want to have a lust crush. Knowing this BEFORE they start dating will help them to stop sabotaging their relationships.

* Deal breakers. Most women sabotage themselves by not knowing simple things about themselves. For instance, knowing if you want kids or don't want kids is important. Knowing if you want to be with someone who is the same religion that you are or not, is important. Knowing if you want to live a traditional life with a partner or a non-traditional life with a partner is important. Women who don't know this about themselves, sabotage their relationships because they waste time with someone who may not be compatible, without realizing it.

* Dating. Women sabotage themselves by not knowing what men want. Many women say they want a successful man as a husband, but then they present themselves in a way that no successful man would want in a partner. Women forget to consider themselves like a product in a competitive marketplace when they date, and then complain and get depressed that they don't have or can't get the man they want.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

© 2004-2009 AskApril.com, LLC. All rights reserved. AskApril®, AskApril.com®, and Ask April® are registered trademarks owned by Masini Enterprises, Inc. This material can only be republished and redistributed if it is kept in it's original form, including, but not limited to, all AskApril branding, banners, links, books, and credits.