You're A Big Sibling!

Tips For Preparing An Older Child For The Arrival Of A New Baby

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

Q: Dear April Masini,

My husband and I just found out we're pregnant and we're thrilled! However, we already have a 7-year-old son who isn't so ecstatic about not being the "baby" anymore. We want to make things as easy as possible on him during this transition time and we want him to be excited about his new baby sister. Do you have any advice on how we can prepare our older child for the arrival of our baby?

Sincerely,

You're a Big Boy Now

A:

Dear You're a Big Boy Now,

It can definitely be tough for older children to adjust to having a baby in the home, but there are steps you can take to make the transition a little easier for your child.

Preparing older children for the arrival of a baby:

*Take your child on a sibling tour of the hospital. Some hospitals offer official sibling tours for the soon-to-be big sister or brother of your new baby. If not, take an informal tour to show your child where you will be staying for a few days when the baby is born.

*Plan for separation. One of the hardest things on a new big sister or brother is the forced separation they feel with Mom who naturally has to take care of the baby. Talk about this ahead of time and emphasize special treats for the new big brother or sister with grandma, grandpa, a favorite aunt, or babysitter -- this is the time to lay on the treats: circus tickets, toys, etc. for the new big brother or sister.

*Talk to your child's pre-school teacher or elementary school teachers and caretakers to alert them of the new situation in the family. They will be able to help smooth the way for the older child's transition from only child to big sister or brother.

*Be prepared for some very normal backlash, such as your older child wanting to send the baby back, not liking or wanting the baby and/or acting out. Don't chastise the older child. Try understanding and strain your patience. This is a very big deal for the older child.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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