Young And Stressed

Answers To The Questions You Have About Kids And Stress

By
Relationship Advice Expert April Masini

I have two young kids who seem way more stressed out than kids should be! But I've talked to the parents of some of their friends, and they say the same thing about their kids. I don't feel like I put too much pressure on my children, I just want them to do well at whatever they choose to do. Why are kids so stressed out these days and how can parents help lessen the stress?

Sincerely,

Parent of Stress

Dear Parent of Stress,

What can parents do to avoid their child becoming a stressed-out kid?

The stress that parents today put on children is a result of too much information -- or as teens may tell their parents, "TMI, mom." Or, too much info. Parents and children are aware of SO many opportunities that they have trouble prioritizing with their child's best interests at heart. While they think they're giving their child every opportunity they never had as children, parents may be missing the bigger picture which is that their children don't want or need every opportunity their parents missed as children. In fact, children today are playing on a very different ball field -- if in fact they're on a ball field at all!

What can parents do to help a stressed-out child?

4 Tips To Alleviate Kid Stress

1. Keep the parents stress level low. Kids are connected to parents more than you think they are, and they look to parents for cues on how to feel and behave – especially in stressful situations. If parents are stressed, you can bet that the kids will pick up the stress and express it or imitate it. So the more you alleviate your own stress, mom and dad, the more you alleviate your children's stress.

2. Sleep schedules. Try to keep kids on their normal sleep schedules as much as possible. Compensate for late nights with easy days and nap times. Don't follow up a late night with a busy day and expect good behavior and healthful living. Keep a balance.

3. Be prepared. The better prepared you are, the more you can keep your kids "in the loop" on what the schedule is. Granted there will be surprises, unexpected behaviors and events and excitement as well as other things. When you give a child a sense of control of the day -- simply by letting them know what's happening during the day, the weekend and the week, and/or times that the events are happening, the kids will relax. Believe it or not, kids like to feel like they're part of the big picture and not victims of it.

4. Parent and child time. Take some time out in every day to have some time alone with your child -- or with each of your children. Take a walk. Snuggle and watch cartoons on television together. Read a book together or toss a ball around together. In all the hustle bustle, remind your child and yourself how important they are to you. Especially when you have too much on your plate.

Reasons/causes for kids becoming stressed out?

Overwhelm. When a child (or an adult) has too much physical, emotional, and or any other kind of overwhelm in their life, they will experience stress.

What does stress do to children?

Stress creates illness -- both physical and mental. It creates derivative behavior and depression.

What are some telltale signs/symptoms in kids that can forewarn parents their child is stress out?

If your child is showing signs of stomach aches, headaches, faking sick to stay home, or is taking a downward slope in class achievement -- or getting into fights or having crying jags -- stop and pay attention. Your child may be suffering.

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, Ideas for a Fun Date and Romantic Date Ideas, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine www.AskApril.com.

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