Parenting: The Impact Of Children Helping Parents

It is wonderful for children to help anyone and to feel a sense of accomplishment that boosts their self-esteem. When children help parents it can create a special bond, as well as special self-esteem. However, there is a problem when children are placed in a chronic help position for a parent, that takes away some of their childhood and make them feel resentful, angry and bitter. Many children who have to take care of alcoholic parents become enablers without any choice. They learn that a relationship involves their taking care of someone, without necessarily feeling that they deserve to be taken care of. If a child feels burdened by taking care of the parent, the result can be damaging.

The key is balance. If a parent has a chronic impairment like being deaf, not speaking English while raising a child in America, or some physical handicap, the best situation is for the parent to get help outside of the child — especially for a chronic situation. If a child speaks better English than the parents, and the parents are learning English, this is not a chronic impairment. It’s a temporary situation. But deafness or being handicapped doesn’t usually go away. If the parent needs help from the child now and then, it’s understandable, but allow your child to have a childhood. Kids take on so much responsibility so early nowadays, that any unnecessary burden is best kept away from the kids.