What Happened To The Idea Of “Healthy Competition” To Foster Achievement?

There’s a growing trend in schools, sports programs and other programs that involve adolescents/teenagers: the discouraging of competition. Everything nowadays encourages equality among young people with regards to talent and ability (i.e., everyone on a team getting a trophy, the dismissal of prizes at talent shows/science fairs, etc.). Some say this is a good trend, but I think it’s dangerous and I’ll tell you why….

Do you think that competition is necessary to foster the growth of teenagers?

I hate to make rules because all rules do not apply to all teens, however, competition is part of our society and to give teens the idea that there is no competition in life, is to disservice them. Many women have trouble in relationships and the work place because they haven’t had the benefit of playing team sports as children and teens the way boys do. The team sports teach team playing and eliminate the star quality value that also has a place in society, but is more difficult to achieve and maintain than teamwork is.

Competition can also be healthy because it gives teens an opportunity to win, to lose and to develop empathy for other winners and losers. It also gives them an opportunity to improve and achieve based on their hard work which is the real and most important way to build self esteem.

When is too much positive reinforcement a bad thing?

Positive reinforcement in place of real life experience can do a disservice to teens. When parents tell their teen how great they are, over and over and over, they don’t teach their teen socialization skills. The reality is that there are more people in the world than just your teen. And some of those people are better than your teen at certain things and some are worse. It’s important to know yourself and your place in the world to make smart choices and achieve your goals, as well as to set reasonable goals and adjust unreasonable goals.

How can we change this trend?

Start at home and be open and consistent about your changes. Keep a running dialogue with your family and with other families and sports coaches and administrators. Keeping the dialogue open and appropriate will alleviate blow ups and drama.