Etiquette: Hugs Among Men

Hugs are traditionally a sign and expression of intimacy and casualness. Formality used to be a bow or a curtsey, and with time, the kissing of a woman’s hand to show enchantment at meeting her, and eventually, a handshake among men, and then, later, among women.

As men found their feminine sides — for better or for worse — they became more interested in expressing more contact. Men now hug each other as a way of casual greeting. Younger men have a variety of greetings that involve variations on handshakes, high five greetings and bumping into each other with one shoulder in a sort of halfway hug.

Sports contact between men has also changed with men slapping each other — not on the backs anymore, but on the buttocks, after a good play in a game.

The etiquette for man hugs is:

*Don’t hug someone you don’t know or are meeting for the first time. Even the second or third time is too soon for a man hug.

* More conservative or traditional, and often older, male relatives may be more conditioned to handshaking rather than man hugging. Respect your elders, always, and let them take the lead in establishing the etiquette on man-hugging.

* Man-hugging only implies affection — not sexuality. Don’t confuse a man hug with a homosexual come on. It’s not that.